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Ask A Black Man

Episode: Marriage

Occupation: Sr. Investigator/writer/public speaker

Twitter: @GullyBlack

Relationship Status: Married

Children: A 9-month-old angel named Makeda Adélani and a 16-year-old giant scholar/athlete named Tahgee

My definition of a man: One who understands the heaviness of responsibility and the basic tenants of leadership, is able to forge into any obstacle creating solutions and seeking help when necessary with a level head, and knows we are a measure of how we respond to adversity.

Marriage is… truly HARD WORK!

Divorce is… a last resort; not the first option but not an option ruled out.

The one thing I know to be true about women:  They will endure more than they need to at times. In relationships, women need to be TOLD that they are important. Despite your physical display to them that they are important, women want to hear it, especially from the person they are involved with.

Three things every relationship should have are communication, a healthy sexual appetite, and a fundamental understanding of financial responsibilities. (Some would say the last item listed should be number 2 and sexual appetite includes sex in the morning before work!) 😉

My job as a husband is to listen objectively and subjectively when necessary, keep things interesting, and to step up to the position of leader, of course, with decorum.

Any woman I’m involved with must be intelligent and have communicative skills that she makes a PRACTICAL part of her life.

Sext/Text/Call? A healthy culmination of all?

I want my legacy to be… One who understands the importance of legacy and the recognition of our Africaness beyond a fundamental level and to always be remembered as a stand up man who does what he says. God, family, community.

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