Ask A Very Smart Brotha: Why Are Black Men So Disappointed With Black Women?

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Candu: I have been seeing a man 18 years younger than me for 3 years. He has a great job, his own house and two cars. He is also a good father to his 6-year-old son. In the beginning, I was ashamed of our relationship…to the point that If I ran into him, randomly when with family…I’d refuse to acknowledge him. I did get over myself and told him how sorry I was. Our relationship has suffered a lot because of my hang-ups (mostly over contraceptive use), and I think he’s holding a grudge about my past treatment of him. He has been there for me and he knows and loves my kid, family and friends. He has always been respectful, which I never had from a man. How do I make up for my faults or should I walk away? Have I caused too much damage to his pride?

DY: Tell him exactly what you’re telling me. Why you were acting the way you were, and how much you appreciate him. Whether he decides to let bygones be bygones is his decision. But just be upfront with him.

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