We Get A Bad Rap: Things Men Should Know About Dating A Strong, Independent Woman

April 2, 2015  |  

While men like to think of themselves as the head of the household, for decades, women have been the backbone of those same households: bearing children, cooking, cleaning, balancing both a career and a checkbook, and satisfying her man all while maintaining her beauty. The strength of a woman and how she handles whatever life throws at her without breaking a sweat is remarkable. With that being said, a strong woman needs a strong and supportive man, and too often today, strong women get a bad rap. We’re looked at as too difficult and stubborn to try and build a relationship with. But hat’s far from the truth.

As a strong woman, I can tell you that we want very basic things. Seriously.

For starters, we want men to take charge, be decisive and make plans for a date. Don’t be afraid to take us, and yourself, out of the ordinary routine of dating. It’s okay to ask what it is we like to do to have an idea of what to plan, but once you get that information, show initiative and impress us. This will let us know that you really listened to what was said and that you’re genuinely interested in what we like. In case you didn’t know, that is a real turn on.

You know what else is a turn on? The chivalrous behavior of gentlemen. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, and helping us with our coats are all things that every woman wants a man to do on a date, or just because. Basic, right? I know many men like to think that many women don’t act enough like “ladies” to receive such treatment. But refraining from being a generous and helpful individual out of spite is not a good look. Every woman deserves to be respected and treated well, no matter who she is, what she’s done, or how she carries herself. Besides, if you treat her like a lady when you meet her and as you get to know her, she will act like one.

Strong women hate it when men give sorry excuses for canceling a date, or when they fail to give a valid reason at all. We understand that the unexpected happens, but if you don’t want to take us out or can’t afford to, be honest about it. We’re not asking you to give us a full-blown explanation, but we do appreciate some consideration.

As the old saying goes, “honesty is the best policy.” Many people don’t agree with this, but for women of substance, this is one of our many creeds. Be totally honest with us about the status of whatever it is we’re doing instead of stringing us along. When we ask you simple questions like, “Where is this going?” and “What are we doing with each other?” please don’t respond with, “We’re working on things,” “You know you’re my boo” or “Just be patient while I figure things out.” It’s okay if you’re not sure about the status of things, but please spare us the sweet nothings about where a relationship is going, especially if it isn’t going anywhere.

One final and simple thing strong women want you to do is to try your best to understand and appreciate our strength. Most men believe that strong women carry a chip on the shoulder because of our success or what we’ve been through, but this is not always the case. If you’re dating a woman of substance, you must know that if she is taking time out of her busy schedule to be with you then she sees something of value within you. For that, her time should be acknowledged and not wasted.

Dating is difficult, and when you’ve come across a woman who is sure of herself and has her life in order, initially it can seem a bit overwhelming. But if you take the time to get to know her, be the strong man you are and not give her the runaround, then you’ll see and appreciate her in all of her beauty and strength.

This isn’t too much to ask, right?

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? and an advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.


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