Call Me, DON’T Text Me: How Technology Has Put A Damper On Our Dating Lives

March 18, 2015  |  

The 21st century has brought about many changes in the way we live everyday life. A lot of the changes have been great, others not so much. But nonetheless, life as we know it has evolved. With the many things that are new, exciting, and seek to make life easier, there is one thing that has altered our lives in major ways. Yup, you guessed it. Technology.

There are so many man-made devices that help us cook faster, eat healthier, park without parking or even drive without driving! A majority of us use some form of technology to make life easier, but there is one area in life where technology can hinder rather than help. Surprisingly, communication is the one area where technology seems to be failing humankind, particularly in the world of courtship and dating. With the many ways people can say hello, send a friendly smile or deliver an e-card, there really doesn’t seem to be a need for people to connect with each other the old-fashioned way. However, I believe that communication, connections and relationships were a lot better and more fulfilling when people actually took the time to get to know a person.

For instance, when you went on a first date back in the day, you were excited to get to know a person by asking as many questions as you could. Today you can Google a person’s information before you meet them and tell them a few things that they didn’t even know about themselves! Researching someone before a first date can hinder the conversation and make the date boring. Not to mention that it’s a little creepy.

And let’s not forget how people rarely pick up the phone to call one another.
Not too long ago, a man would call a woman he was interested in to hear her voice and wish her a good day. She would anticipate hearing his voice, and such gestures would bring them closer. Today we exchange quick and impersonal “good morning” text messages that have been saved and sent to others. And when we send a text, be it to greet someone or bid them farewell, people don’t take the time to even check their spelling! There’s nothing more impersonal and annoying than reading a text message from a person who’s supposed to be interested in you, yet they didn’t take the time to make sure their message for you was clear.

The Internet, social media, and other forms of technology have cheapened the art of courtship to the point where people rarely go out and meet others. Why take a chance in meeting and sparking up a conversation with someone when you can rely so heavily on dating websites? And even when people do go to mixers to “meet people,” if they’re not immediately approached, they flock to their phones.

Getting back to old-school loving is something people don’t want to do, but I think doing so will benefit the communication skills of generations to come, as well as the present ones. It’ll teach them how to listen to others, how to approach a woman with respect, how to respond to a man’s advances and know the proper way to court one another. But in order to do so, both men and women must establish simple standards for themselves in order to enhance communication with each other and not rely so heavily on technology.

For instance, women should make it mandatory for men to call them at a reasonable time of the day in order to have a meaningful conversation. If you’ve made this request and they can’t do something as simple as this, then they’re not worth your time. Another thing people can do is not become friends or followers of people on social media sites until they’ve actually taken some time to get to know that person. We all know that often, people aren’t who they say they are on social media, and you shouldn’t let any ol’ body have access to all of your personal information. While technology has advanced our world in a number of ways, it’s best not to depend on it so much, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Don’t be so dependent upon technology to communicate for you, because at some point you’re going to have to step away from it and show the world who you really are.

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For and an advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.

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