Take It From Him: 15 Signs That I Was Ready To Get Married

March 18, 2015  |  
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Ladies, now that spring has sprung, do you find yourself itching to break out of that cuffing season hibernation? Are you currently in a relationship that has gone on for a while with no proposal in sight? If you find yourself in that situation, you may be going through a myriad of emotions, wondering “Does he want to marry me or not?”

As someone who used to be single and dating, I had to look in the mirror and ask myself, seriously, what I was ready to do to take my relationship to the next level. Could I handle the responsibility that came with holding, not only someone’s heart, but their life, in my hands? Would I be able to have the strength to side away from the ratchetness that has seemingly gripped the nation to be dedicated to this person?

After strong consultation with myself, my pastor, and even members of my family, I weighed all the options laid bare in front of me. I couldn’t wait years, months, days, or even another second without her by my side, as my wife-to-be. Keep in mind, I’m not a Hollywood persona. I’m not somebody who you could even pick out of a lineup. I’m just an African American man who ended up knowing what he wanted out of life and love.

How can you separate the weak-kneed playa mentality from the true man of your dreams? Well, whether you’re single, dating, on the prowl, or in a committed relationship, here are some very helpful signs that will better help you weed out the trill from the real.

A Man Has Foresight

One who has a “one foot in, one foot out” mentality is unsure about his choice in a helpmate. For someone in a longterm relationship, that means you’ll be stuck always wondering if this will be the day he proposes. If you’re dating, then you’re not the only woman that is on his mind. A man who is ready to commit his life to a woman is already making his plans for the future known. Whether it is establishing a date to move in together, or just confirming plans of interest in an upcoming vacation, the man ready to tie-the-knot will also have you as an integral part of his life’s blueprint.

A Man Enjoys Your Company

The single life is full of Instagram filter choices, drunken rides back home (sometimes alone), and putting forth a cavalier attitude to perpetual strangers. Dating or a longterm relationship finds a man and a woman with each other — seemingly everywhere. The key to that is the man involved doesn’t mind missing out that insane day party, or that raucous album listening party at the strip club. Why? Because the man who knows that he is ready to settle down and exchange vows knows that his wife-to-be’s happiness is a priority. A man who is ready to get married understands that his significant other completes him in ways that no crazy night on the town ever could.

A Man Has Eyes For His Woman

Connections between a man and a woman are key to developing anything intimate and explosive. If a woman, who is into a man, comes to discover that his eyes are wandering past you to another woman in the room, it can be a disappointing moment. A man who is into his woman does not have a short attention span. He is alert, attentive, and engaged in the woman he finds most alluring. It may seem cliche to say that a woman with a man who knows he’s ready to settle down can make her feel like she’s the only one in the room, but there’s some truth to it, I believe.

A Man Acts Like A Husband Before The Ring

Expressiveness in a relationship is tantamount. From relishing in appreciation of the good health of the relationship to detailing how a man loves his woman, admitting just how much he wants to be with the woman is a telltale sign that he’s ready to be more than boyfriend and girlfriend. For many, it seems that relationships don’t even get to that level, but if you’re in such a state consider yourself blessed. When a man is ready to become your husband, his actions reflect his behavior and you’ll see him in that role.

A Man Shares Himself

No matter how, when, or even why — a man ready to be committed for life is eager to give of himself and his time to his woman. From making time to talk with you on the phone (a dying art) to bearing his failings to you, a man that can not hide who he is and how he functions from a woman is showing her that he is open to the premise of being ‘The One’ for you.

A Man Considers You Family

There aren’t any secrets or surprises when you’re in a committed relationship with a man who is ready to say, “I Do,” to you. Despite the fact that you’re not (yet) a real family member, the man who loves you enough to put a ring on it will ensure that his own family and friends know who you are in his world and ensures that you are respected beyond measure. Ladies, if you’ve been dating a man for a while and none of his family asks about your whereabouts during any holidays, they you’re not really the one and should reevaluate the relationship.

 

A Man Goes From ‘He’ To ‘We’

Whether you’re around or not, a man who is interested or planning on making you his one and only, refers to himself as ‘we’ instead of ‘I’. By pluralizing the pronouns, a man is showing that he is a representation of you while out in the world. The usage and context in how it is applied can give you, the partner in his life, clues about how deep he’s planning on being involved. A man saying, “We” in conversation marks that he is open and willing to making a joint decision about something important in his and his woman’s life.

A Man Exhibits His True Self

Past the hype and hoopla of showing off machismo, a man who is ready to settle down with you as his bride-to-be has no problem being himself at all. Comfortable, at ease, and without a mask, the man in your life who is planning to have you as his future is able to show you parts of himself that very few people are able to see. Through exhibiting his true self to you, he is allowing himself to be vulnerable and secure in knowing that even with the keys to his heart, you’re not going to damage it or be reckless.

A Man Is Open-Minded

The man who would be your husband and is interested in making you his wife doesn’t have anything to hide from you. He shares even the most insignificant thing because it is another chance to communicate with the one who drives him wild. The more a man offers to his woman, whether it be about his past, present, or future, the more it shows that he is proud to have you by his side intimately. If you find yourself dating a man or in a relationship with one who prides himself on telling you “only the things you need to know,” then it is time to look at that as not a good sign and discuss evolving.

A Man Makes Time For Special Moments

A man who is ready to get married will not just coordinate intimate moments on your birthday or on an anniversary, he will create special moments that will last for a lifetime. When I proposed to my fiancée I knew that it had to be something neither one of us could forget. With the help of a mutual friend (thanks again, Erin!), I recalled the many places where my fiancée and I loved to dine within Gotham, and put together a scavenger hunt that not only showed her how much I paid attention to our relationship, but just how creative I wanted our future to be.

A Man Has No Problems Appreciating Your Worth

In a man’s mind, once he’s made the decision that you are to be his future bride, you should not be surprised when he becomes more touchy-feely and appreciative of your efforts in the relationship. From a surprise massage while you’re washing the dishes to a subtle gesture such as an e-card to remind you how awesome you are, a man who wants to marry you, has no issues appreciating what you mean to him. If you find yourself wanting, it may be time to have a serious talk with the one you are with or hope to be with.

 

A Man Aims To Turn House Into Home

Boys, on-the-run guys, and sidepieces are more than happy to just deposit some bodily fluid into a woman and be onto the next one. A man, especially one ready to settle down, is open to the ideas of co-habitating and creating a life together. Whether it means opening a joint bank account under the auspice of buying a house together, or just hunkering down to get a pet, a man ready to take steps down the aisle with you is eager to showcase stability in order to solidify bonds.

A Man Doesn’t Belittle You

With so much drama on reality TV, you may think that these words certain couples (we’re looking at you Boobie and Keyshia) use are befitting of a happy union. Unfortunately, the powers-that-be are focused on showing love in an outrageous light, instead of showing just what it takes to keep the peace. A man who is ready to be married knows just how important it is to keep his woman and relationship on equal ground. A man who knows just how powerful you are alongside him will never use that energy against you by calling you “controlling” or “bossy.” If you are with someone who is constantly belittling you and your energies, it may be time to shift your chakra to something new.

A Man Stays During The Tough Times

Life has its fair share of ups and downs. It isn’t always a bed of roses lined with 24K gold trim. There will be some cloudy and rainy days. A man who is immature and doesn’t take into consideration that there will be frustrating life moments is not someone to build a future with. He could be a quitter or prone to jump ship once relationship waters get rough. A man who really loves you and knows he wants to make you his wife won’t abandon you during the tough times. Real, strong, God-empowered love shines even during the most difficult settings. A man who is ready to be married to you would be lost if he was not there when you absolutely needed him. A man who expresses strength during moments of weakness is an attribute a woman can truly appreciate.

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