Is It Me? Signs You’re A Bad Date
Have you been on more first dates than you care to admit but you’re not sure why you haven’t been asked out on that elusive second date? If so, then maybe one of these signs that you’re a bad date may apply to you.
If you had your date waiting 30 minutes for you to show up or you changed plans at the last minute, don’t be surprised if this is the first and last date. Being late shows that you have little to no respect for someone else’s time — not something you want to portray on the first date. And if you changed plans at the last minute then it shows that you don’t honor your date’s feelings or your commitment to the plans that you made to spend that time together.
You Didn’t Dress The Part
If you came to the first date looking like you’re picking up an order for take out or running across town to catch a store before it closes, then don’t be surprised if he isn’t wowed by your beauty. Conversely, you don’t want to come in dressed in a ball gown and elbow gloves when the rest of the crowd is casual Friday. Overdressing could imply that you’re high maintenance and that can be a turn off. Obviously, you don’t want to be judged based solely on looks but you do have just one shot to make a first impression.
What’s the point of going out with someone when all you do is pay attention to your phone instead of the person sitting across from you? If you pick up your cell for every call, text and notification that rings then that shows you have no interest in your date. So why should your date have any interest in you? Remember, where your attention goes, your affection grows.
You Toot Your Own Horn
No one likes a show off. You may think you’re painting yourself in a good light by bragging about all of the things you’ve done, but there’s a thin line between listing your accomplishments and showboating. Besides, if you’re trying to be more than what you really are then you’ll never find the perfect match for yourself; you’ll only find someone for the person you pretended to be.
You’re A Buzz Kill
No one wants to hang out with a Debby Downer. You may not realize it but the topics that you choose to discuss may be bringing the room down. No need to go into too much detail on why your marriage or last relationship didn’t work out. Why bore your date with how your beloved cat died or how hard it is for you to move on? Keep the topics light and fun.
You’re Hung Up
If all you can do is think about your ex while you’re sitting across from your date then chances are, you’re not over your ex. And if all you can do is compare your date to your ex then you’re really hung up. And if you cannot shut up about it, now your date knows you’re hung up on your ex. Why would he ask you out for a second date when it’s clear where you’d rather be. Or whom you’d rather be with.
Just how a shark can sense when there’s blood in the water, your date can smell desperation on you. If you’re looking for some type of commitment after the first date, then you’re desperate. If you invite your first date out to an event months down the road instead of allowing things to grow and progress organically, then you’re desperate. No easier way to scare a potential boyfriend off than acting like he’s your boyfriend before he’s ready to be one.
It’s All About You
It’s great that you have self-confidence and think that you’re an interesting person but chances are, you’re not interesting enough to be the only topic of conversation for two hours. No one wants to be around someone that’s self-centered and controlling the conversation with a 20-minute monologue about why you chose to have a salad for lunch. That’s a sure fire sign that you think the world revolves around you. Instead, try to find common ground and something that you and your date both have an interest in talking about.
You Have No Time
If all you talk about is how you’re too busy with work or school or family obligations then your date may be thinking that you don’t have time in your life for anything else. We’re all busy in our everyday lives but if you’re not interested in making room for love or willing to put in the work that it takes to make a relationship work or you talk as if you’re not willing to make a relationship a priority, then you’re wasting your date’s time. And yours.
You’re Set In Your Ways
Part of the purpose of going out on a first date is to find out what the other person likes to do for fun, as well as their hopes, dreams and aspirations. But you have to go into it with an open mind. If every suggestion that your date has is met with a “No” then that’s exactly what he may be thinking when he’s debating on whether or not he should ask you out on a second date: No. Instead of shooting his suggestions or ideas down, try this response. “No, I’ve never been sky diving but it certainly sounds interesting!”
You’re Too Judgmental Or Critical
Do you like your date’s outfit except for his shoes? Are you not feeling the restaurant he picked out? Were you not fond of the movie the two of you just watched? Does his dream job make you want to roll your eyes? Well, keep all of that to yourself. You may not realize how critical or judgmental you can come across especially if you’re just being the honest person who has no filter that you think all of your friends and family members just love to death.
You Don’t Show Enough Class
Just because you’re not paying for the meal doesn’t mean you should go all out and order the most expensive item on the menu. No need to order the best bottle of wine the establishment has in stock either. And don’t even think about ordering something so you can take it to work with you for lunch the next day even if your date asks you if there’s anything else you want.
You’re Looking For A Superhero
If you want someone to swoop in and save you then chances are there’s a lot more missing from your life than a partner. Make sure you’re looking for love for the right reasons. Although men do like to feel needed, no one wants to deal with a train wreck or feel like he has to come in and clean up your messy life so soon into the relationship. Make sure your home is in order before you start looking for a houseguest.