4 Tips To Have The Most Amazing Sex Of Your Life

January 23, 2015  |  


We all want to have great sex! However, great sex doesn’t just happen, like it does in the movies. It requires some work and effort on our part. Sometimes we get so caught up in positions, orgasms and “goal-oriented sex” that we forget the basics. Below are four tips to having the most amazing sex of your life!

1. Communicate

While it may be challenging to communicate your sexual desires to your Beloved, it is absolutely necessary! Often times we set our relationships up for failure because we don’t to talk to our partners. We just “expect” them to somehow know everything about us. Don’t expect your Beloved to be a mind reader! You have to communicate with each other about what turns you on and off because what worked with one partner may or may not necessarily do it for the next. And as we age, over time our thoughts, attitudes, belief and desires about sex can change so it is very important to talk instead of assume. Be very specific about what you need. Rather than criticizing your Beloved about the things you don’t like, tell them what feels good and that you want more of it. You can also take their hands and gently guide them to your “hot spots.”

Don’t assume or pretend to know what your partner needs either. When in doubt, ask questions — preferably before sex and not during because that can certainly spoil the mood! Try not to become offended when your Beloved tells you his or her desires. It’s not a slam against you, but rather a suggestion on how to increase their pleasure. Be open to loving suggestions. Sharing your sexual desires will not only enhance your relationship in and out of the bedroom but it can also create an unparalleled level of intimacy between you and your Beloved. Your willingness to explore sexual desires together can take you into exciting new territory far away from your old, boring sex script.

2. Don’t forget foreplay

Sometimes a quickie is great but don’t forget foreplay! Women need foreplay to help get their natural juices flowing and lengthen the vagina so that she’s able to welcome your manhood into her sanctuary. Now I know you’re probably thinking foreplay takes way too long and, if so, it’s time for you to think outside the box! Foreplay can begin long before the bedroom romp-a-rama session. Build excitement and anticipation throughout the day so that by the time you’re ready to do the horizontal mambo, she’s literally dripping wet for you. And ladies, don’t be too selfish, men like foreplay too! Leave his favorite pair of your sexy undies in his pocket so he can find it later! Greet him at the door in a Dominatrix outfit ready to subdue him with your feminine prowess or get him all cleaned up and prepared for sex wearing a sexy French maid outfit! Or perhaps wearing nothing at all will do the trick!

3. Add Variety

Variety is the spice of life! It may be cliché but that doesn’t make the statement any less true. Any great chef knows that it’s the variety of seasonings, textures and flavors that make a dining experience great. The same thing is true for sex. It’s easy to get stuck in the same old boring sex rut but now it’s time for you to spice things up a bit. Positively persuade your partner to try something new. Make an adventure out of it by planning a fun day trip. Start your blood flowing by getting a couples’ massage, get up close and personal during a boudoir photo shoot, visit an adult novelty store and purchase a fun new sex toy or rent a sexy adult movie, and end your evening with a passionate night of lovemaking.

Trying new positions is always fun. It’s definitely time to let go of the basic missionary, reverse cowgirl and doggy style positions! Get creative and inventive and switch things up. Can’t think of any new positions? Pick up a book on Kama Sutra or Tantric Sex to help increase your physical, emotional and spiritual connection. Get out of the bedroom. Explore new and exciting places to have sex. You’d be surprised at how a change of location can do wonders for your sex life.

4. Practice Makes Perfect

If at first you don’t succeed then try, try again. To be the best at anything you must learn all the tricks of the trade; sex isn’t any different, especially if it’s with a new partner. If you want to perform better sexually, it’s going to take some work, an open mind and a willingness to learn some new things. To further our careers and to cultivate our growth, we attend professional developments classes to enhance our skills and we must do the same when it comes to sex. Because our bodies and sex lives will change overtime, we need to be continuous learners. So grab your lube, toys, imagination and partner because school is in session!


Dr. TaMara loves nothing more than talking about sex! At the age of 13, she told her mother she wanted to be a Sex Therapist! Her passion is deeply rooted in spreading messages about healthy sexuality. Dr. TaMara is a sexologist, sex therapist, educator and motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality. Dr. TaMara has published numerous books and articles. She is the owner of L.I.F.E. by Dr. TaMara Griffin Live Inspired Feel Empowered LLC-LIFE. She is the publisher and editor-in-chief for Our Sexuality! Magazine. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, http://www.drtamaragriffin.com or http://www.projectcreatesafe.com.

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