15 Holiday Gifts Men Dread Getting From Women

December 21, 2014  |  
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Men don’t generally like having lots of stuff. They don’t collect memorabilia, or hold onto tokens for their scrapbooks, or buy vintage items because it was such a steal. So, naturally, they’re very hard to shop for! Let’s narrow down the tough search: here is a list of holiday gifts men dread getting from women.


Tickets to see his favorite team

Is he supposed to take you because you paid for them, or is he supposed to take someone he actually wants to take, like his friend who knows about the sport and is equally enthusiastic about it?

A couple’s massage

He’d much rather be massaged by you than by a stranger, but if he is going to be massaged by a stranger, he wants it to be a woman. And in that case, he doesn’t want his girlfriend watching another woman massage him.


A cooking class

What happens when you two try to cook together? You argue, you get in each other’s way, and you probably compromised on a dish neither of you were crazy about anyways. Why does a guy want to learn how to do more of that? If it’s working out to make your own respective meals and eat side by side, maybe stick to that.





A gym membership

This gift comes with double pressure: 1) He feels bad if he doesn’t use it several days a week because you paid for it and 2) He feels bad if he doesn’t use it because you clearly think he needs to lose weight.

Anything that will make him look better

Following the gym membership point, steer clear of anything that implies he needs to tidy up his look. Nose clippers or a gift certificate to a barber will only offend him.

A plane ticket home

What if sitting on his parent’s couch while they argue about how to cook the pot roast was not how he wanted to spend his precious time off?








A surprise visit from his parents

He and only he knows when he can handle a visit from his parents. You might have just seriously derailed his week by plopping the parents on his doorstep.

Anything office related

If you get him personalized post it notes or a stapler he’ll wonder if you have a soul.








A book of IOUs

A handmade book of little favors you’ll do for him upon request, sexual or otherwise (make him lunch, give him a foot rub, clean the toilet etc.) might seem cute and creative, but he feels like a total chauvinist asking you to pay up on these.



You, in complicated lingerie

It’s a lovely image, but he has no idea how to deconstruct it. He’ll most likely poke himself in the eye trying to detach your garter belt from your panty hoes.








A book

So, homework.















Of his favorite team, favorite beer, hometown, you name it. Men want maybe one t-shirt with their favorite football team’s log on it—if that. Covering one’s room in mugs, sheets, hats and posters touting a team logo is for an eight-year-old.


Men aren’t really experimental with fragrances the way women are. If they wear any fragrance at all, they probably picked out the one they’d stick to forever when they were 18. But now you bought them expensive cologne and they feel pressured to smell like roses and firewood.

A piece of furniture

This gift is a little presumptuous, especially if you don’t live together: you just inserted a piece of yourself permanently into his home. And even cheap furniture is expensive, so he feels really bad if he doesn’t like it.


Something that’s really for you

Oh great. You got a little dresser to put in his apartment so you no longer clutter his floor with your belongings when you sleep over.

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