We’re all familiar with the saying that “all good things must come to an end,” but what happens when a bad thing comes to an end? You can become jaded, especially if it was a bad relationship.
You went into the relationship hoping for the best, but you ended up hurt and worse for the wear, so now you’re single and jaded. Don’t worry, you’re not alone, and here are some helpful tips while you’re going through this icebox moment in your life.
DO Admit That You Have a “Problem”
Sometimes people don’t realize that they’re jaded when they actually are. It’s just like AA, in order for you to tackle a problem in your life you have to first acknowledge that the problem exists. Once you do, then you can move on to point 2, which is…
DON’T Apologize For It Either
You earned the right to be jaded, and it’s okay! If you have an attitude, embrace it, and you know what else? Some of the best art comes from dealing with negative emotions, so engage in your negativity to either create something, become productive, or just learn from it.
DO Date When You’re Ready
Being jaded can come in ebbs and flows. There are moments that you’re gonna feel like you hate any and everyone who reminds you of your ex. Other times you’re gonna feel like you’re ready to take a leap of faith on that cutie in the next cubicle.
The thing with being jaded is that you’re fixated on the past hurt. Healing comes from living in the present. If you’re feeling ready to date now, then take the leap, but also make sure you’re wearing an emotional parachute, just in case.
DON’T Get Under Someone to Get Over Someone Else
This isn’t a puritanical rant. I believe that people should be able to do whatever they want to with their bodies. However, when you’re jaded you should be nurturing your heart.
Jumping into a physical relationship usually ends up reinforcing said jaded nature and prolongs the hurt.
DO Vent to Other Equally Jaded Friends
Misery loves company, and this is the perfect time! You’re all hurt and it’s nice to realize that you’re not alone in your pain. In fact, facing pain together can help strengthen a bond.
DON’T Take Their Advice Though
But don’t listen to those bitter broads about what you should do next! How do I know? I used to be a bitter broad, and all of the advice to my other friends was coming from my own hurt. It’s not like I was trying to set them up for failure, it was just that I couldn’t see the rainbow due to the clouds.
Your friends are going to mean well, but until they’re healed they’re not going to be completely reliable.
DO Take As Much Time As You Need
If you broke your arm last week you’re not going to try to play short stop this week, are you? If it’s a day, a week, a month, a year, or a few years, take as much time as you need.
Remember, dating isn’t a good thing to do if you’re still broken. Two half people do not equal a whole person. Wait until you’re completely healed before you allow someone the pleasure to be in your presence.
DON’T Rush Yourself Because Others Tell You To
Just like the “bitter broads” (I actually like that… maybe I can trademark it?), the people who are urging you to “just get over it and date” don’t really know what they’re talking about.
They don’t know what you went through, or how you’re currently feeling. They just want to see some forward motion in your love life; but if you rush into it it’s going to lead to some backward momentum, and no one wants that (just ask Newton).
DO Celebrate You!
Relationships are usually centered on celebrating someone else. Being single is the only time that you can unabashedly concentrate the greatness that is you! Take this time to really focus on things that you want, need and deserve.
Do it! You’re worth it!