About The Time Darren Wilson’s Blushing Was Called Injury, Other Bullshit And One Truth

November 25, 2014  |  

I’m going home today, for Thanksgiving. So yesterday at work I was on a bit of cloud. I thought, can’t nothing bring me down today.

And then my sister g chatted me, telling me that the grand jury had reached a decision on whether or not to indict Darren Wilson. My stomach dropped. I like to think of myself as an optimistic person and even though I tried to think positively and cling to the little shred of hope I had, I knew that Darren Wilson was not going to be indicted.

Though I knew the news would come yesterday, County Prosecutor, Robert McCulloch, made us wait and wait and wait for the announcement. Hours. For hours after the jury had reached their decision, Michael Brown’s parents, family and friends were left to wonder if Darren Wilson, the man who killed their son, nephew, friend would be charged. They waited to see if the state of Missouri, a place they call home, would acknowledge that Darren Wilson taking the life of their son, would be regarded as a crime, for which he would be held accountable.

McCulloch waited until the night time to make that announcement. A move that I can’t help but think was sinister in its motivation. If the announcement comes at night, when everyone is home. More people will be out in the streets protesting. If more people are out protesting, that increases the chances that there will be more people inclined to riot. And if they riot, as they understandably did, the world gets to see it. The Ferguson police and the news media get to comment on it. Because nothing makes for good television more than a police car or a building burning in the street, at night. And when those things happen, we get to shift the narrative.

We’re no longer talking about how a police officer practically unloaded his gun into Michael Brown’s body and left him in the street for four and a half hours. We’re talking about those poor business owners who get to keep their lives but have to rebuild or in some cases restock. The narrative shifts and the media and the police force can subtly infer that the people, Black people, are unruly and scary. They need to be “handled.” In the same way Darren Wilson “handled” Mike Brown.

Stay woke.

What struck me the most during Prosecutor McCulloch’s address before he finally got around to reading the decision was that he spent far too much time discrediting the media and users of social media for apparently spreading false information. He spoke as if he himself were arguing the case for Darren Wilson, calling news outlets and everyone who sent out a #HandsUpDontShoot tweet irresponsible. Just like the Ferguson community predicted, McCulloch was too personally invested in this case to ever present it fairly to the grand jury.

But in a vote of confidence, McCulloch decided that his office would be so kind as to release all of the evidence the grand jury saw.

There was a lot of it so the information is coming out slowly. But one of the first images to come out were those of Darren Wilson’s “injuries.”

I use the term flippantly because these alleged injuries look like someone told Darren Wilson he was a murderer and he blushed, slightly. These injuries look like Darren Wilson took a nap on a texturized surface and the redness on his face was the aftermath. These injuries look like a very mild case of rosacea.

They are not injuries consistent with the way Darren Wilson characterized his interaction with Mike Brown. In his testimony, he said, “The only way I can describe it is I felt like a five-year old holding onto Hulk Hogan.” He talked about Brown’s intense and aggressive face, saying “The only I can describe it, it looks like a demon, that’s how angry he looked.”

Yeah, Mike Brown must have been the demon when he was the one who wound up dead in the street and Wilson had the equivalent of razor burn.

The only words I can use to describe Darren Wilson’s testimony are complete and utter bullshit.

Yesterday, I was so excited about going home but this decision just reaffirms for me just how unwelcome Black people are in America, our home. I used to feel like this wasn’t even our home but since we’ve been here and built it, it is indeed ours. But still we’re seen as foreign, inferior, a threat to be subdued, suppressed and snuffed out.

And that hurts.

I’m not going to preach a full sermon and I don’t believe in using religion and spirituality as a way to shirk away from the very real work that we need to do in this country, the mess others have made that we have to force them to look at and clean up. And I’m not saying we should use our spirituality to pacify our real and warranted anger. Anger is one of the best motivators for action.

But after last night I needed something, some fundamental truth to settle my spirit. I’ve been in this position before and I’m sure, living in this country, I’ll be there again. So last night, not only did I think about the ways in which Darren Wilson may find himself spiritually imprisoned though physically free, I also thought about the fact that God, our creator is just. And because that’s who I know Him to be, Darren Wilson’s actions will not go without consequence and Michael Brown’s death will not be in vain.

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