Black Love Bias

March 30, 2011  |  

Do you ever find yourself bogged down by stereotypes so much that you start to see the bigot in yourself? I found myself in this dilemma recently, 2 weeks ago to be exact. In my spare time I like to peruse the “black love is a beautiful thing” tumblr page for all their healthy images of black love. There’s something magical about seeing black men dotting over black women, that whole restoration of the black family tends to get me every time. However, a few weeks ago they were showcasing photos of homosexual couples, two black men loving each other or two black women. The photos filled up my tumblr timeline and my face scrunched up like o_0.

Now for the record, I typically align myself with progressives and see the fight for ‘gay rights’ as a human rights issue. While I’m not marching, bearing a rainbow flag I have been known to be in support of gay rights and I’ve had countless debates about the need to support gay rights efforts. So why the scrunched up face when a website who works to show healthy images of black couples chooses to show homosexual couples as well as heterosexual couples? It’s because my definition of black love was very narrow and only included relationships that consist of men and women, black men and black women!

I felt bad about my initial reaction because in that moment I knew that I was just as big of a bigot as those who would like gays to keep their sexual preference to themselves in the military. My prejudice was no better than heterosexuals who want to push the gay lifestyle to far corners of the earth while purposely flaunting their “normal” sexcapades and relationships for everyone to see.

Black love is subjective. I can no more claim the title of black love because I date women more than a brother who is in love with other men. While I know this is a sensitive topic because of the media hyped phenomena of the down low brother and the many sisters who feel suitable mates are simply non-existent due to homosexuality, and incarceration stats of black men. Those are different topics entirely, I’m speaking specifically about the core of love, the joy of companionship. Whether it’s male/female, female/female, male/male, we all have a right to love and if we’re black, we desperately need that love because God knows we’ve been dealing with trauma for centuries.

While I’m sure my sexual orientation still holds some biases. When I think of the black family I’m more often than not going to imagine something that looks similar to the Obama’s rather than (insert famous black homosexual) his/her lover and their potential to adopt or find an alternative way to have children. But I do recognize that ‘black love’ is not solely resigned to black couples who fit societies norms, black love is varied and all that 2 people need to be involved in black love is that they be unashamedly black, proud and in love. What do you think, do you have a bias of what black love is?

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