Does Being Taken Make You More Appealing?

March 8, 2015  |  

So, I am at that age where being single is no longer considered respectable. It’s like you get to your late thirties and everyone around you is either hooked up or on their way down the aisle. That being said, I am not panicking. There are advantages and disadvantages that come with being in or out of relationships.

However, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon that makes me wonder if perhaps I need to invest in a particular piece of jewelry. A couple of my friends got engaged earlier this year and I was quite stoked for them. They had wanted this for a long time and I can attest to the fact that they both paid their dues. I listened to their bitch fests and consoled them when things were looking mighty dire. So for them to come out on the other side is cause for celebration.

We have all been hanging out a lot lately. I guess, we realize that pretty soon, we won’t be able to spontaneously chill out and throw back margaritas as we make fun of the geeky guys and ogle over the hot ones. Of course they wear their engagement rings with pride, as they should. From the looks of it, their fiancées didn’t opt for the cheaper route. So naturally, whenever they are on display, we are swarmed with attention. Mostly from young women who listen with adulation and envy as my both my girlfriends give the short version of their surprise proposals. And of course once they delve into their wedding and honeymoon plans, we have an attentive audience.

But it’s not this kind of attention that has me stumped, it’s the one they receive from guys who are fascinated and hungry to devour my friends despite the fact they are clearly taken. The rings somehow represent a challenge and give these guys more of an incentive to win them over.

I have witnessed the chase and it boggles the mind. Actually maybe not – it is human nature to crave what you don’t have. Girls who are single tend to harbor some level of desperation that subconsciously unleashes itself whenever we are around a guy we really like. Or maybe it’s just us being open and ready to pursue something that reads as desperation. In any case, guys can sense when girls are ready to pounce and that automatically turns them off. But if a gorgeous girl has a gigantic ring on her finger, most guys are drawn to her. They joke about it, and try to get her to admit that she would date him if not for her obvious engagement. If she puts up a fight, he is even more aggressive. It becomes a challenge. He knows she belongs to someone else, but he is bummed that he wasn’t lucky enough to get her first. But he also needs the reassurance that if he had met her before she was promised to another, he would have had the chance to woo her.

It is interesting to watch girls battle with the best of both worlds, as you sit there single and ringless. For me it’s a lesson on how guys react to confident women who already have their Prince Charming. They exude an energy that makes them even more desirable.

I also realize that I don’t need a ring to achieve this disposition. I may not have a fiancée or even a boyfriend, but I have a lot more going on that makes it easy for me to consider myself quite a catch. I hope more of us feel that way. It will certainly make reeling them in a lot easier!

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