Relationship Debate: ‘Would a Pole Dancing Class Benefit My Relationship?’

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Dear China,

I have been debating whether to take a pole dancing class. I would like to give my boyfriend the performance of a lifetime, but I’m nervous that I will look weird and silly and he won’t like it. What should I do?


Dear Buy-Polar,

That’s the point of training in something: to build an expertise and a sense of confidence in it! Many people just kinda wing through life, and that’s fine for low-level expectations, but when you’re unquestionably at the top of your game, it’s pretty hard to make you feel “weird and silly.” Think about anything else that you do really well, whether it’s cooking, braiding hair, driving, or even just talking. When you perform these “expert” tasks of yours, do you feel weird and silly? Of course you don’t!

And that feeling of confidence comes because you’ve been doing those “expert” tasks for a long enough time that you’re essentially trained in them. I would say, don’t perform a pole dance for him until you feel absolutely comfortable doing it, because you want your confidence to register in the bedroom. You don’t want to be too shy or nervous, or unsure, after having taken just a class or two. Remember: you’re not just showing off your Hot, physical skills, you’re also unveiling the mental and emotional sexiness of a go-getter woman who can accomplish anything she puts her mind to: be it pole dancing or finishing a 1,000-page novel. Success is just Hot.

Your man will not only appreciate the efforts you took to please him by essentially training as a pole dancer, but he will love the way you look on that pole as you give him “the performance of a lifetime!” Go for it!

Let me know how it goes.

À Bientôt,
~ Madame C.

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