How to Handle a Dishonest Relationship

March 21, 2011  |  

You or a friend may have been entangled in situations of all contexts that seemed dishonest–and perhaps were. The next time that scenario happens, here are the crucial steps you can take to handle a seemingly dishonest relationship.

Before jumping to conclusions or reacting to any apparent clues that you may be dealing with a dishonest person, research and remember the facts of the situation. Look for patterns in the person’s speech and behavior, and use your gut instinct to guide you as uncover the truth of the situation. Ensure as much objectivity as possible, avoiding too many opinions that would tilt the truth one way or the other. Patterns are key to uncovering truths and behaviors. Become a “pattern” expert.

Once you have gathered your facts, and researched as many angles of the matter as possible, address the facts with the person you think has been dishonest. Listen out for inconsistencies in the person’s answers, and question the likelihood that what he or she is saying is right or wrong. Speak calmly, and stick only to the facts. Addressing issues in a manner that allows emotions to overwhelm the situation might spiral you out of control and blur your stake in the matter.

After you have addressed the matter, weigh your options. Do you believe in the truth offered to you by the other person? What are the consequences if you do or don’t? Do you believe that dishonesty will continue to impede your growth with this person, or are you satisfied in thinking that the “dishonesty” you have researched is just a one-time matter?

After you have researched, addressed, and weighed the circumstances around a relationship–of any kind–that has been mired by dishonesty, and you are still not convinced that the person in question is worthy of your continued presence, then you should strongly consider the dissolution of your relationship with that person. Imagine your life with that dissolution, and if that imagination decreases the anxiety, tension, and general disappointment that you do or would feel with a continued dishonest relationship, then you have your answer right there.

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