Relationship Debate: ‘Is It O.K. to Text/Email a Love Interest, First Time Around?’

March 21, 2011  |  

Dear China,

Is it ever O.K. to text/e-mail/Facebook on first communication with a potential love interest?


Dear E-Male,
If you meet someone who you think is cute, and want to get in touch with that person, then maybe you should get in touch the way you would if you two were dating. Consistency is key with communication, unless of course you only text and email people with whom you don’t have “close” relationships, and you reserve calling and in-person relationships for people with whom you do have close relationships.

The rules of first-time relationship communication are entirely up to you, but keep in mind that if you’re the kind of person who can’t stand the anxiety of someone not replying your text (or, in the case of many men: replying your text with short words like “sup,” “ok,” and “yea”), then just save yourself the trouble and call. Some men just aren’t that big on writing long and/or satisfactory emails, texts, or anything for that matter unless they’re pretty close with you. Don’t expect too many men to go on with you with satiating textual satisfaction off the bat.

In all, just stick to the communication medium that makes you feel most comfortable–and most importantly, keep it simple. “I enjoyed meeting you! Let’s do lunch sometime,” works as a text if you’ve only just met and exchanged numbers for the first time. The same line works just fine over the phone, and the same line works on Facebook private message. It’s not the medium you use that matters, cherie; it’s the content you send through that medium.

Let me know how it goes.

À Bientôt,
~ Madame C.

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