From Ms. to Mrs.: How Do You Know When You’re Really Ready To Be Someone’s Wife?

September 16, 2014  |  

So here it is.  You’ve met an awesome man. The two of you start as casual friends by getting to know each other, and then you decide to escalate the relationship from friendship to courtship. After the courtship phase you both agree to move forward into a full-blown exclusive relationship. Things are going great, and then out of the blue, the moment you’ve been waiting for happens. He gets down on one knee, takes your left hand, pulls out the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen and asks the one question many women can’t wait to hear: “Will you marry me?”

Without a second thought you immediately say “yes!” From there, the journey from Ms. to Mrs. begins. Now you finally get to plan the wedding of your dreams, purchase the dress you’ve secretly obsessed over, move into the home you’ve always wanted and start your perfect family. Sounds pretty exciting right? Of course it does, because that’s the image many women have in their minds about marriage and settling down, but the reality of being a wife spans much further than what we see on TV and in the movies, and the work it entails is much more than meets the eye. When a woman makes her transition from Ms. to Mrs. she has to understand that being a wife means that she must make many sacrifices, including loving your mate unconditionally, cooking from time to time, cleaning from time to time, being patient, compromising and so on and so forth. And just think, all that is expected even before the kids and the full-time job is considered.

While this is what a number of women want, my question is, are they really ready for it or just the idea of it? I ask this question because when many women are single and dating, their primary concern is themselves. They don’t have to worry about getting dinner on the table for more than one person, making sure things are in order, or putting others needs before their own, among other things. So to say that one is truly ready for marriage means that you’ll have to make major adjustments to your lifestyle and mindset. While many women say they are willing to do this, I cant help but think that this is a lot easier said than done.

So ladies, how do you know if you’re ready for a name change? Ask yourself these questions: Can I wake up every morning to the same man? Am I willing to share more than my personal space with him? Am I ready to start a family, focus on them and place many of my needs on the back burner? If he is unfaithful to me, can I forgive him and move forward? Am I willing to cook and clean for someone else? Am I willing to submit to him and follow his lead? These are just a few questions you should ask yourself and take the time to reflect on to see if you are truly ready to become a wife and not just a married woman, because believe me, there is a difference. If you’ve answered no or maybe to most of the questions listed then chances are you’re not ready to be married just yet. Even if you’ve answered yes to all or most of them, being married is still a major step to take in life and you want to be sure you’re prepared mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally within yourself  before you jump the broom into a new world of unexpected twists, turns and expectations. Single ladies, take your time, love yourself in the state you’re in and don’t rush down the aisle if you have doubts. Even if he asks and you’re not sure, don’t be afraid to say so out of fear of losing him, because if he’s really yours, he’ll be there when you’re ready.

Have you recently been proposed to and you’re not sure about officially tying the knot?

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin

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