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Dear China,

NONE of my friends or family like my significant other! Is that a sign that he’s not right for me?!

Sincerely,
My-Not-So-‘Family Guy’

Dear My-Not-So-‘Family Guy,’

The short answer is yes–that’s pretty much a sign that he’s not right for you. Depending on your relationship with your family and the circumstances surrounding your relationship with him, your family could be the best gauge for whether or not a man is right for you, because family members and close friends want only what’s best for you, and they know what you deserve.

Still, several factors complicate that answer.

For example, if you’re from a very strict cultural or religious background, your family may not see the good in someone whose background differs too much from yours. They could judge him without knowing who he really is, and may be reluctant to learn. Conversely, family members may support your relationship with a darn-near abusive partner, simply because has loads of money (for example), and they just want you to be surrounded by money as well.

So, it’s crucial for your family and friends to really understand your relationship from an objective point of view before they give an opinion as to whether or not a lover is right for you. It’s even more crucial for you to understand your relationship from an objective point of view, which includes your family, perhaps, but extends beyond them. In any quest to find the right man for yourself, ask yourself whether you would recommend him for a woman like you.

Pretend you’re not the person in the relationship, you’re an observer OF the relationship. Now. Knowing everything you know of this man, ask yourself: is he the person that you would absolutely 100% pick as the best choice for the woman you are, and the woman you’re trying to be?

The truthful, gut-felt answer that you derive from that question is the only answer you need, cherie.

À Bientôt,
~Madame C.

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