You love your man but you’re starting to detest many of his habits. He spends too much time working or not enough. Either he’s borderline clingy or prefers spending more time with his friends than with you. And the romance? What romance? His idea of romance consists of dinner at his favorite restaurant and catching Kevin Hart’s latest movie. Frankly, you’re sick of it. And you can’t help but think there is someone out there better for you. Maybe there is, but remember that everyone comes with their own custom-made set of problems and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
In relationships, I believe you should have a set of rules that you refuse to compromise, and usually these aren’t overly superficial. For instance, he has to be employed, can’t have three kids and four baby mamas (kidding), and he has to believe in the same thing you do when it comes to religion. These rules should govern your dating life because they interfere with your values and morals, but there are some things that we should cut men some slack on, and maybe they will do better.
The small things like asking how your day was, sending flowers occasionally, or being less of a mama’s boy may irritate you, but not necessarily hurt you. What am I saying? Choose your irritations wisely because everyone, even you, can cause them.
I see many women jump from one relationship to the next (yeah, some have that luxury) and they’re hoping that this man is better than the next. Chris takes you out more than Rod did, but he talks about himself the majority of the dates. Eddie has a high-paying job and makes more than your ex, but he’s always at work.
This is not an article about settling for something that is making you unhappy. It is about realizing that relationships are all about compromises and some things you just have to suck up. Other things, if he loves you, he may try to improve.
Trust me, there are a few things about you that have caused a man to want to leave but he probably decided to stay because your good traits far outweigh your bad. No one is perfect and if we’re looking for a perfect mate, we will always fall short.
Sometimes the la la land fantasies about what a relationship should be are coming from our perceptions of other couples (and movies). Some people get so caught up in other people’s relationships that they forget to tend to their own. Sure, he may show his girl more PDA than your man does to you, but he may go home and barely talk to her. You never know what goes on behind the closed doors of someone else’s home. Comparing your relationship to others is always a recipe for disaster.
So before you leave him to go find the next, consider these things: Does he make you happy way more than he makes you sad? Is he or has he been at least open to hearing your issues? And finally, what can you do different to make the situation better?
Ladies, simply remember that everyone has flaws. You can leave one relationship based on minuscule issues only to go to another one with a different set of problems. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
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