Carlita’s Way: 6 Lessons From My Affair With R. Kelly

July 24, 2014  |  

From EurWeb

My secret affair with R. Kelly started by accident. I was a faithful celebrity basketball wife who deeply loved her husband, but after suffering from abuse and infidelity for many years, I eventually did what I never thought I would do: share my bed with another man.

I met Robert Kelly before he became the world-renowned superstar, R. Kelly.  At the time, he was everything a woman could want: seductive, passionate, and charming. We had a very strong sexual chemistry that was undeniable, and even though it was wrong, it was almost impossible for us to resist the temptation.

Caught between a deep desire to save my marriage and my overwhelming urge to share my body with R. Kelly, I was in a deep state of confusion. After fighting our intense sexual attraction, R. Kelly and I decided to take our friendship to a different level, and although I cannot go into too many details about our affair, I will say that we were hot for each other, but we also had a real friendship outside of the bedroom. He wrote songs about me that have never been recorded, and I bought him his first keyboard and drum machine. We also went on a few vacations together. I bought him a great deal of things, but I was a show off piece for him, and after a while, that didn’t make me feel good.

After spending many passionate nights together, we decided to go our separate ways and remained friends. After our affair, I began to reexamine my life, and came face to face with the truth about my marriage to Chicago Bull’s guard, Craig Hodges.  I realized that although R. Kelly and I both caught feelings for one another, the real reason I had the affair was because I was emotionally disconnected from my husband, and I was running away from the pain of my marriage.

I was sick and tired of being hurt and neglected, and I wanted to experience something new. Having an affair with R. Kelly allowed me to break free from the emotional turmoil that I was experiencing in my marriage; it was, quite simply, an outlet to mask my pain. During my marriage to Craig, I had experienced many painful experiences, and my life was in shambles. I married for love, and believed whole-heartedly in ‘till death do us part,’ but I did not get that same commitment from my husband. Instead, I ended up feeling empty, abandoned and alone. Robert gave me what Craig didn’t, and at the time, I felt justified in my actions because of my husband’s infidelity and the lack of trust I felt in my relationship. Although I decided to stay in my marriage after my affair, I learned some important lessons that have helped me transform my life from the inside out.

1. Like many women who have affairs, I chose to have one with R. Kelly because I was lacking in my own relationship and wanted to escape. I felt empty inside; like something was missing. Many women have affairs to get what they feel is missing in their relationships, but I learned that affairs don’t make you feel more fulfilled. After the hot sex is over, you will still have to face your current reality and the issues you have in your relationship. No matter what you endure in your relationship, having an affair will stop you from dealing with your real issues, which can stop you from leaving your current spouse, or it can stop you from taking the steps to heal the relationship, if it’s salvageable.

Read more about Carlita Hodges’ affair with R. Kelly at 

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