Do Men Think Something’s Wrong With A Woman If She’s Not Married By 30?

July 9, 2014  |  


Not long ago I was having a conversation with a friend about why men date younger women. She suggested that men are worried that older women (age 30 and over) must have some type of inherent flaw. I said I could only agree to some extent. Having dated older and younger women, I can say there are benefits to dating both, but being older isn’t an indication that you may be flawed.

The fact of the matter is that most men who are wondering what’s wrong with said woman are probably over 30 themselves. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? It’s also assuming that she’s been actively trying to get married or seek out a relationship throughout her twenties. That’s something that in our day and time may not hold true. Plenty of women choose to focus on things outside of a relationship and marriage. It also assumes that she wasn’t in a long-term relationship that ended because of compatibility issues. She’s not single because she’s flawed but because she realized that the man she was dating wasn’t who she wanted to be with for the rest of her life.

I’d like to tell you that with age comes maturity but that’s not true. I’ve met 35-year-old women who were just as immature as an 18-year old woman. I’ve met women who were 22 and wise beyond their years. It’s really hit or miss. What I can tell you, though, is that while I know men who wonder about a woman’s age, I think it’s rather silly. When I think of all the things I’m factoring into picking a mate, her age isn’t one of the highest items. It’s actually very secondary in nature. I’m searching for compatibility, mutual interests/goals and the desire to build something worthwhile. If that comes with a woman who is ten years my senior, then so be it. Any man who’s wrecking his brain trying to figure out if her age is a precursor of flaws is wasting his time on things that aren’t all that important.

Currently, about 15% of women are older than their spouses. That number is rising because gender dynamics and paths in life are morphing in the 21st Century. There are more people who realize that in today’s society it’s better to focus on a great match that won’t end in divorce rather than age and I would expect that in a short amount of time that 15% will rise considerably. What this means is that all the men who are still putting too much thought into a woman’s age are becoming archaic.

Therefore, just like I say with many other “unconventional” happenings in relationships and marriage, what works for you works for you. Nobody has to be in your relationship but you. As men mature they understand this more than they did when they were young. They understand that it takes much more than your age to determine compatibility. And you should know that too.

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