I spent time talking to a friend, about a guy she’s been seeing for four months. She gushed about his potential and his text consistency *eye roll* and she couldn’t wait to introduce him to me. I was going to see her, at some point in the week, so we planned to dinner with him and some of his friends.
We ended up meeting this guy at his house. (First red flag.) The living room had comforters everywhere and there were three other men lounging around. They were playing video games and downing lime-a-ritas. *more side eye* Grown man sleepover style.
After twenty minutes of casual conversation and NBA2k, in the background, I whispered to ask her when we were headed to dinner.
“Oh. He said we’re just going to hang out here. It’s cool.”
“Okay,” I was annoyed and ready to go.
He pulled my friend up on his lap and started to flirt with her. I scrolled through my Instagram and regretted not bringing my car. Suddenly, her 4-month boo decided to ask me what I did for a living.
“You have a good aura. Seems like you work with kids or something.”
“Something like that.”
“Oh. Good girl, with a good job. I like that.”
I hissed my teeth and pointed at my friend, still seated in his lap, “She has a good job too!”
He looked at her, “Oh really? Where do you work?”
I was in utter disbelief. Four months together and this man had no clue where she worked? What the hell?
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After realizing I didn’t like this guy for her, I decided to bring it up on the way home. I asked her several questions: Have you guys been on a real date? Do you love him? What do you really know about him?
She responded, “I know what I care about. The reason he doesn’t know much about me is because we haven’t been out often enough, for him to really gage all that.”
“But….you’ve been to his house several times.”
“Yeah, but his friends are always there.”
This conversation was becoming more and more pointless, by the second.
She became furious and ended the conversation, “Everyone can’t afford to wine and dine! He’s an alright guy. I’ll settle for the house, all the time, if he’s gonna be good to me.”
Errrr…judging by his lack of knowledge, on her occupation, that was highly debatable.
But I’m just tired of this excuse, on both sides of the soapbox.
Her:
“I mean we go out sometimes, but most of the time we stay inside and cuddle—Chinese and a movie you know?”
Him:
“It’s like a brother can’t date women without breaking the bank these days! I mean I like her, I want to date her, but I just can’t afford it.”
I can’t stand either one of you. First off, if a brother keeps rendering his crib and some Chinese for the first couple of dates or ALL of the dates, after the first, get rid of him. Especially if you’ve expressed that you’re tired of staying in and you’d like to partake in some outdoor fun. My girlfriends love to make excuses for the guys they’re dating:
“He just doesn’t have it like that right now.”
“He’s a loner and a homebody, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“He’s just tired a lot, it’s cool.”
Ladies, these are one to two time excuses. After this excuse is used the fifth time, it’s time to reconsider progression with this individual. You are worth a nice time, pampering, and affection. Don’t take no for an answer.
Oh & fellas, don’t think I forgot about you. Stop BS’ing. My male best friends are consistently agitating me with their pretexts. They’re living in dating limbo, because they are too lazy to come up with something creative or fear that they don’t have enough cash-money to wine and dine the woman of their dreams.
NEWSFLASH: Every one isn’t rich.
If you’re in college, newly graduated, or you’ve just started settling into your career; you can’t possibly give a woman the world. However, you can bring her into your own and pamper her to the best of your ability. Any woman, who doesn’t appreciate time and effort, and is angry at the absence of Le-Fancy-Food-On-The-Pier, every time you go out, isn’t worth your time. These women are gold-diggers or watch too many movies.
With that said, here are twenty-five inexpensive dates for the brother who isn’t trying to break the bank. A lot of the places I mention will be NYC oriented, but there are identical spots in every state. Remember, Google Maps is your friend.
Go…
