The Art of Meeting Someone… Anywhere

June 18, 2014  |  

Warm weather means it is time to be out mixing and mingling. But meeting someone while you are out anywhere is an art form. Maybe you’re out enjoying the latest art festival, a walk through the park, or rooftop drinks, but don’t seem to make any connections! You could be making a few mistakes or not sending out the right vibe. Here are a few tips for meeting someone anywhere and hopefully landing a fun summer date!

  1. Go out alone / break away from the pack

Safety first. Don’t go out alone on a walk down a dark alley at night. However, you can try a walk, an event, or yes even happy hour alone. You can look your most approachable when you’re at a nice steak house for happy hour or casually walking through a gallery. When you are out with a large group of friends, break away from the group for 10 minutes or more. When someone doesn’t have to steal you away from your friends or infiltrate your Spartan like dance circle to get to you, it’s more likely that you’ll be approached. Walk around, stand somewhere separate, and make eye contact. You’ll likely notice new people and maybe catch someone’s eye!

 

  1. Look less occupied

Chances are if you are going out alone you’ll pack a book, your phone, iPad, a journal and anything else to help you avoid just sitting there doing nothing. However, when you are pouring into your phone with headphones on, you may completely miss the person that’s smiling at you as you walk by. If you’re intensely working on something on your computer or wearing dark shades while reading a book, you give off the “I’m busy” vibe and may deter someone from interrupting. You don’t have to sit there the whole time with nothing but try to spend part of the time with all your distractions put away. Someone is more likely to talk to you if they don’t feel like you might snap on them for interrupting something important.

 

  1. Conversation starter

When someone is approaching you to start a conversation, he or she is looking for an opening line other than “hi.” Make it a little easier and have a conversation starter. Maybe wear a funny t-shirt, play music from your favorite band, or have an interesting magazine on your table. I wore a shirt that said “Black Girls are Magic” to a happy hour once and had more conversations in one night than I did ever before. Why? People who approached me were interested in the shirt’s meaning and in a quick 30 seconds learned something about my personality too. It broke the ice and we easily moved from talking about the shirt to exchanging contact info. It also helps if you attend events where starting a conversation is easy and welcomed instead of impossible like at loud clubs or concerts.

 

  1. Combat Looking Rude

My natural resting face gives a “leave me alone” vibe. If you are the same, you have to combat your stank face. If someone makes eye contact with you and you’re interested, try to smile. The smile immediately changes the vibe of your face. Keep your thoughts light and positive. Our face tends to mirror our deep thoughts and you want to keep your face from looking upset, brooding, or troubled.  Another way you can come off rude is in how you dismiss the approaches of people that don’t interest you. Avoid the eye roll as they walk away or the whispers to your friends. The person watching you from across the room can see all of this and may get deterred. Even when you’re out shopping or walking around, how you interact with the people around you can play a part if someone approaches you or not. Be mindful that you may say a whole lot with your mannerisms before you even say hello.

 

  1. Take charge

You can be the initiator this year! Make a positive comment about someone’s outfit or reading material or simply just say hello. The art of meeting someone anywhere is a two way street. You’ll not only need to look approachable, but you may have to do some of the approaching too. Rejection is part of the game and you can’t let that scare you into missing out on some great dates.

 

What about you? How do you perfect your art of meeting someone anywhere? Any other tips and advice? Share in the comments.

You can follow Dee on twitter at @deerene_ or read more of her work @laughcrycuss

 

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