Should You Upload? 14 Relationship Commandments For Social Media

June 30, 2014  |  
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Relationships and social media sometimes are a toxic mix. We’ve all seen the break ups, make ups and screw ups go down on Facebook, Twitter and more. We all use social media differently – for business or pleasure – but there are certain commandments to keep in mind. Comment below! Do you agree? Disagree? Or have a few of your own?

Thou shall have discretion, not secrecy

There’s a difference between the two. Don’t fall for the “we know what it is why do we need to tell the world” line as the reason why there’s no evidence of your relationship anywhere and it’s been a few years. A picture isn’t “letting people be in your business” and it may be kinda odd that every other aspect of your personal life is online EXCEPT the person you love.

Thou shall not ask for passwords

Let me stop you right here. If you need to ask for someone’s password, you already don’t trust them and that speaks to a deeper issue.

Thou shall not stalk the pages of commenters

Someone comments with kissy faces on your boo’s Instagram and all of sudden you are looking at her page and reading all her comments from 42 weeks ago. Or even worse she has a locked page and now you’re stomach is in knots wondering who THAT chick is to him. Don’t do this to yourself.

Thou shall not post every. Single. Thing.

It was cute the first time she made you breakfast. The 5th time and we’re all tired of it. It was cute the first time you made a flip gram of him but we don’t need to see an “usie” every single time you are together. We know you are in love but you don’t need to post a status every time he or she looks at you with love. Spend that time enjoying the moment rather than posting it.

Thou shall act like somebody that has somebody

Why are you single online and in a relationship offline? Why are you responding to flirtatious comments, claiming single, or approaching others for sex/relationships? Be as committed online as you are offline. Don’t get caught up in online popularity and let it ruin your real life.

Thou shall know it’s okay to keep it positive

Some people will make you feel that you aren’t being real if you don’t post about your fights and struggles. However, it is perfectly okay to be happy in your relationship and to express that happiness online without posting the negative moments. Posting about your negative moments online invites unwelcomed critics. Share the good and keep the bad in house.

Thou shall not expose

Whatever happened, let the screen shots and pictures stay in your group chats. There’s no need to ruin someone’s job or life by positing conversations, nude photos, or other terrible information because you are hurt. There a lot of state are now employing laws against this type of revenge and you could end up with much more than a broken heart.

Thou shall break up quietly

There are some couples where you can see their break up happen minute by minute. Don’t be that couple.

Thou shall enact boundaries with exes

You don’t have to let your ex follow you. You don’t have to follow back or friend. Keep the boundaries lines that you have online with your exes the same as you would offline. Sure they may not call you anymore but your boo could be just as irritated by your exes constant likes and comments too.

Thou shall not say it’s “just” social media

If it’s happening online it more than likely will happening offline too. Address the real issues. It’s not twitter, IG or facebook that is hurting your relationship, it’s the way your boo chooses to act on those platforms. Talk about the real issue – the trust, jealousy, being inconsiderate, secrecy, lies or whatever it may be that is happening. Social media just amplifies those traits it doesn’t make them appear. This commandment counts ESPECIALLY if you met online.

Thou shall know it’s okay to flaunt your love sometimes

This isn’t something you have to do but something you can do if you feel like it. Some will say it’s corny or “doing too much” but if you are in love go ahead and show it. Nothing wrong with showing you care. (Disclaimer: a couple’s page is probably going too far)

Thou shall know it always gets back to your boo

Imagine everything you say about your boo will be said to them at some point. When you are talking negatively about them in private messages, you never know when those messages are going to leak. Have some respect for yourself and your mate.

Thou shall not be controlled online

Don’t let your social media become a prison and a means for your partner to act jealous or even worse abuse you. Social media only amplifies behaviors. You shouldn’t feel like you are being stalked in your own relationship or monitored.

Thou shall determine what works for your situation

Everyone has an opinion on what’s okay to post and what’s not. At the end of the day, you have to do what works best for your relationship while keeping point number 1 in mind. Have open communication before there is an issue and you should be able to enjoy a healthy relationship online and off.

Any more rules? Add them below!

Find Dee Rene on twitter at @deerene_ or more of her work at @laughcrycuss

 

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