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From Single Black Male 

At one time or another dating was easy. It was about going out with someone and having fun. There was no pressure when it came to dating. But nowadays, it seems as if women are really putting the pressure on these men and expecting some type of committed relationship after a couple of months of dating. Even though there are different situations when it comes to dating, one thing’s for sure: many women tend to make the same mistake. And since most men think in sports terms when it comes to us women, I thought I’d do the same. So I’m breaking down my opinion on common instances that come up while dating a guy and how women mess things up from a sports aspect.

At some point, the question of why each of you are single comes up. He lets you know he’s single by choice, not ready for the responsibility of a girlfriend, or he’s still working on himself. Naturally women accept these answers and agree with him that they too are doing the same thing and not tripping about a relationship – FOUL! If you know that’s not how you feel, why agree? Why not let him know your expectations? When you agree with him and add the extra “I’m not looking to get into a relationship either,” you’ve basically agreed to be friends until his further notice.

Sometimes women begin to formulate the thought that she can change him – TECHNICAL FOUL!When will women learn that you can’t change a man? A man makes the change for himself. The only thing a woman can change about a man is his style of dress and the décor of his living quarters and that’s as close as you’re going to get. In your eyes, you can be the best thing that came into his life, but if he’s not ready to settle down he’s not going to. If anything, he’ll have the luxury of having a friend doing girlfriend-like duties.

Months have passed and things are going well then something clicks and for whatever reason a woman needs more. All of a sudden you need a title to justify this relationship. So you take it upon yourself to do the top 3 offenses. Offense #1 – you ask him “what is this” “what are we doing” and “where do you see us?” Offense #2 – you express to him now that you don’t date to date and you date with purpose and you don’t want to feel like you’re wasting your time. Offense #3- you tell him you stopped dealing with other guys for and/or because of him – EJECTED!

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