Do You Really Mean “No Shade”? Qualifiers People Should Stop Abusing
I won’t speak for you, but I personally am tired of the overabundance of disingenuous qualifiers like “no shade” that people are using these days to justify all sorts of nasty remarks that are in fact shady as hell. Although shade may be the new kid on the block in this genre, the truth is we’ve been using phrases like this for years to try to justify coming at people in all sorts of crazy ways and making it seem like they’re the ones who are wrong, when, in actually, we might want to practice the exercise of thinking before we speak more often than we do.
I’m Not Trying To Be Mean, But
Sometimes people really aren’t trying to be mean, but if you think what you’re about to say could be interpreted as such you probably want to stay away from the m-word altogether and re-word what you are planning to impart in a nicer tone.
There’s a 99.9% probability that when you preface a statement with “no offense,” someone is going to be offended.
Don’t Be Mad
No. The onus is not on the recipient of the message to not be mad at the news you’re delivering. It’s your job not to do anything to make me mad so that you don’t have to come to me and say, “don’t be mad but I X,Y,Z”.
“No shade” has become the thing to say now when you call yourself subtly reading someone. If you’re not saying your thoughts directly to that person, it’s shady, which, by default, means the “no shade” qualifier is null and void.
If women had a dollar for everytime some fool said something along the lines of “No disrespect, but you got a fat a$$” to her, we’d all be able to put Sallie Mae out the business. Just because you say no disrespect doesn’t mean what follows won’t in fact be disrespectful.
Don’t take this the wrong way
How about you just don’t say it the wrong way so I don’t have to get in my feelings?
I’m just saying
…saying what? Something rude? Something mean? Something disrespectful? Something inappropriate? We all just say a lot of things. And most of them don’t need to be said.
Don’t take this personal
If it’s about us how else are we supposed to take it?
Girl, you know I love you
Then why would you say something that makes me sideeye you and follow that up with a reminder that you actually are my friend?
I’m just keeping it real
Yeah, real rude. All that’s true and real doesn’t always need to be verbalized.