Relationship Debate: What Percentage of Men are Cheaters?

February 18, 2011  |  

Q: Dear China,
I just wanna know. Is the 20/20/60 rule really true? (20% of men are monogamous, 20% are serial cheaters, and 60% have occasional “indiscretions”)

Can’t Add It Up

A: Dear Can’t Add It Up,
Where’d ya get those equations? They look mighty interesting, but the thing about algebra is that, if you switch around a few variables, you get a different result.

For example, if somebody’s man cheated on her and she were hurting badly enough, she could start to believe that 100% of men are cheaters, idiots, losers, insert bad feeling here_____. If somebody’s in love with the best man in the world, she may start to think a high enough percentage of men in the world are monogamous–because hey, that’s all she knows, that’s all she’s been raised around, and that’s her set of variables.

As far as men themselves are concerned, a man could have had “occasional indiscretions” when he was 20 years old, and then become 100% monogamous at age 30, so age is another variable. You and I could probably derive a million scenarios in which men could fall into any of those categories, and another million scenarios in which a woman’s hunch about those percentages, depending on how she’s feeling about her man, could skew higher or lower.

I wouldn’t approach men as a percentage of who they are or who they could be. Instead, I’d just find a decent man who’s committed, and work on loving him 100%. If you’re monogamous, you won’t be too worried about any of the men leftover.

Enjoy ~

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