Does Race Really Have a Place in Romance?

February 18, 2011  |  

Lola Adesioye is a British-born Nigerian who’s known for her work in music and media…promoting artists like Sean Paul and Missy Elliott. She works as a commentator, writer and broadcaster, who’s written for The Guardian, The Economist, The Huffington Post, TIME magazine, and to name a few. Her first motivational/inspirational book was released in February and is called Focus Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.

We sat down with motivational speaker, Lola Adesioye to explore a series of pressing questions among women. In Part II below, we focus on how race affects romantic relationships or not.

China: How do you think African-American women view interracial dating?

Lola: It seems that many view it as something to do when other options have been exhausted. That’s just my own opinion, as I’m not African-American. Personally I have dated white men and they have been wonderful. I would love to have a black family with black children, preferably though.

China: How much will race matter in dating, say 50 years from now?

Lola: Who knows? Ultimately what matters most is that people are happy with who they are with. I don’t think race matters in dating per se – it’s about your preference and what works for each person in a relationship.

China: To what extent do you agree or disagree with news reports that highlight how black women are chronically single?

Lola: It’s troubling and irritating to me that this has become such a source of fascination for the media. It’s a destructive self-fulfilling prophecy. The more it’s talked about, the more people believe it and the more real it becomes. I think it’s an irresponsible way for reporters to use the power of the media. There are plenty of black women who aren’t single and who are in thriving relationships – why don’t we focus on them and on finding out what works?

China: What advice would you give a woman who wants to have children, but hasn’t found the right man past her best child-bearing age?

Lola: She could adopt…There are plenty of children out there who are in need of wonderful loving homes and mothers. I’d just advocate that she has a very strong supportive male figure around.

China: What’s the best advice you can give for black women to achieve their best selves?

Lola: Know that you are perfect as you are. There is nothing to fix or change. You are a child of God and you are beautiful. Warts and all. Let your light shine!

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