How NOT To Break Up: A Little Bit Of Dignity And Respect Goes A Long Way
For the past couple of weeks, messy headlines that tell of the love train known as Floyd Mayweather, Shantel Jackson, Nelly, Ashanti, Tae Heckard, Brandon Jennings and Teyana Taylor have been shared across media outlets. While so much can be said about the über eventful love lives of these well-known people, there are also plenty of lessons to be learned. One of those lessons being, how NOT to break up.
Floyd Mayweather and ex-fiancée, Shantel Jackson, made news after he attempted to embarrass Jackson by uploading medical paperwork to Instagram, accompanied by a caption that pointed to an abortion as the reason for their split.
“The real reason me and Shantel Christine Jackson @missjackson broke up was because she got a abortion, and I’m totally against killing babies. She killed our twin babies.#ShantelJackson#FloydMayweather#TheMoneyTeam#TMT.”
Shortly after, the boxing champion released a dated photo of Shantel and joked that he wanted a refund for all of the cosmetic surgery that he paid to have performed on her.
“…@missjackson Before all the plastic surgery I had to pay for. I’m an Indian giver I want my money back LOL…#PlasticSurgery #TMT,” he wrote.
Despite the seemingly misplaced LOLs tacked at the end of his messages, his antics reeked of a heartbroken man who lacks a constructive way of dealing with his feelings. He was hurt that their relationship didn’t work out (and possibly that she terminated her pregnancy), and since he was unsure whether or not she was feeling the same way, he set out to inflict pain on her as well. He sought to publicly humiliate and degrade her, possibly hoping that he would feel better after the fact. But in the end, it’s highly unlikely that he did. It’s believed that Shantel’s recent revelation that she’s romantically involved with Nelly is what sent Floyd over the edge. But in the end, he only made himself look bitter, vindictive and emotionally unstable. Blasting or attempting to “expose” an ex after a breakup is rarely, if ever, the move.
But Mayweather isn’t the only offender here when it comes to how not to break up. There’s also something to be learned from the actions of Detroit Pistons star Brandon Jennings. In case you’ve already checked out of this messy web of love and lies because it’s way too much to digest, allow me to catch you up to speed. Jennings and Teyana Taylor were an item, off and on, for nearly six years (according to her timeline). The two were even allegedly engaged. Recently, Jennings began claiming actress and model Lashontae Heckard as his new girlfriend, and even fiancée. Problem 1: Heckard was actually a friend of Taylor’s. Problem 2: According to Taylor, Jennings began to seriously downplay their relationship on social media once he got with Heckard.
“On Twitter he said he’s been single for three years,” Teyana said during a recent interview. Brandon knows, the world knows, I know that we were engaged. That was very public. We were engaged at the Madea premiere.
I feel no real man should ever downplay anything, whether it’s me, his baby’s mother, anything. Don’t downplay your past relationships to build a platform. If she loved you for who you are or liked you for who you are, then she’s gonna like your regardless. You don’t need to downplay me. I was disappointed. I felt betrayed because of everything we’ve been through on and off for six years.”
Some speculate that Jennings simply wanted to get back at Taylor for ending their relationship, while others speculate that he made their relationship seem insignificant to make his new lady feel secure. Either way, trying to diminish or downplay the role a person once played in your life simply because things didn’t work out is also a really immature thing to do.
Breaking up has always been hard to do, but there’s no reason for it to get so ugly. The name calling, taking to social media, and downplaying the roles of the person you once couldn’t get enough of isn’t necessary–and you’re not fooling anybody. Maturity is everything. And if your ex is the one seeking to get a rise out of you, remember this quote from Rachel Wolchin: “Maturing is realizing how many things don’t require your comment.” Get it? Got it? Good.
What do you think? What are some other things that people should avoid doing after a break-up?
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise.