In The Meantime: The Best Friend Who Should Be Your Man

April 15, 2014  |  

Note: This dating series will go in and out of parts. Some will address the ghosts of past relationships, others will talk about current situations, and most will give advice. Pay attention to the page breaks; they help you understand the transitions. Find more of the dating series here

Keenon is a young photographer that I met, at one of my events. Eager and ready to prove his worth, he asked me on our first date wasting no time at all. I spent time with him and received some great wisdom, from his grandmother. It made me reflect on my love life at twenty-one. Here’s how it played out: 

I let Keenon go.

It was a few days after our walk in the park, after a stressful day of work and long ride home. I was in no mood to be gentle or to negotiate.

“I don’t understand. We were fine, yesterday.”

I sighed, “I’m aware, but I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s just not the right time.”

“Are you nervous? We haven’t done anything, but hang. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, “I’m not nervous. Again, it’s not the right time.”

The other end of the phone was silent.


He finally responded, “Whatever. You had a good dude. I hope you don’t regret this.”

I smiled, as he hung up the phone. I knew he’d be okay.

I could remember the times I’d been on the receiving end of this conclusion. I would sit near a window and take in the outside; convinced I’d never like, lust, or love again. Broken hearts and disappointment came frequently, at the age, and I couldn’t help but put all my eggs into one basket.

I would be the girl who missed out, in a year. I’d probably be the older woman he once dated for a while, in two. In three years I’d be a figment of his imagination. This is how I remember the men I encountered or smiled with, in my early twenties.

I couldn’t tell you the names if you asked me.

They’re just a blur of college waterfront benches, parties, and awkward dates.

They might have been introductory handshakes, locked stares, and tilted smiles.

Rarely did they ever turn into relationships, love affairs, or longevity.

But sometimes they evolved into friendships.

Let’s talk about one in particular.

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