Thoughts That Are Making You Jealous

April 17, 2014  |  
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Relationships are meant to make you feel cared for, loved, and secure, but often times, people in relationships experience a lot of jealousy and rarely does it have anything to do with their partner. Here are some thoughts that are making you jealous and how you can change them.

Thought: All men are the same

It’s easy to say that a good majority of women have had to deal with a man who was just a bad person overall. Sadly, having to deal with these types of men is what gets women into the mindset that all men are the same. All men cheat. All men lie. All men are just in it for sex. And if a man who did yhose things before caused you to be jealous you’ll surely feel the same with the next partner.

The truth: No two men are the same

No matter what you’ve convinced yourself of, no two men are the same. Just because you picked a bad apple doesn’t mean that the entire tree is ruined. There are genuine men out there who are not looking to cheat, lie, or get you into bed and then leave you.

Thought: I’m not good enough

All of us have to deal with insecurities in our lives. But when you’re in a relationship, self-loathing and fear-induced thoughts are bound to get you nowhere. If you think you’re ugly, fat, and that your man will leave you, you’re only digging yourself a hole, and more likely than not, thehole didn’t even need to be dug.

The truth: You’re enough

Relationships may be reassuring, but they will not fix any underlying confidence and self-esteem issues. Being in a relationship requires trust, and it also requires that you love yourself from the inside out. If you don’t love yourself, then how can you reasonably love someone else?

Thought: People around me are threats

We all have eyes and just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t look. Jealousy is bound to come about if you believe that if your partner finds someone else attractive, he/she is bound to leave you to be with them. Seeing other people as risks to your relationship is a horrible way to think.

Truth: The risk is lessened in a good relationship

When you’re in a solid relationship that has a good foundation, it’s unlikely that other people are really going to pose a huge risk to your relationship. You and your man will find other people attractive, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to go out and cheat. One can look, as long as there is no touching.

Thought: I have to protect him from other women

Your man is a very attractive guy. He has a great sense of humor and can be a little seductive, which is what really attracted you to him. However, when you and your man go out to social functions, you find that you want to be protective of him so that other women don’t find him attractive. This is bound to lead to jealousy, since it’s inevitable for your man to talk to others.

Truth: You need to relax a little

It’s normal to want to be protective of your man, but it’s important that you’re able to let him breathe and do him. Just because other women talk to your man doesn’t mean they will immediately fall head over heels for him like you did. This would only happen if your man allows it to, so have some faith in your partner.

Thought: I have to compete

There are plenty of women out there who think that even though they are in a relationship with a man, when they’re out in public, they have to compete with other women to keep a man’s attention on them. Thinking that everyone else is competition is bound to lead to a lot of jealousy; you can’t always be the prettiest one in the room.

Truth: You’re your only competition

Thinking that everyone else is competition for your man’s attention and time is no way to think, and it’ll bring up all sorts of feelings of jealousy, stress, and frustration. Instead of seeing everyone as competition, learn to be secure in your relationship. Trust that your man is with you and only you, and that giving others some attention doesn’t mean much at all.

Thought: He’ll cheat like my ex

If an ex cheated, you may think that your current boyfriend is going to cheat as well. Even if he hasn’t done so yet, in your mind, he is guilty already, which means the jealous behavior will soon follow.

Truth: You have baggage

Bringing baggage into a relationship is never a good thing, but when you project that baggage onto a new relationship,you don’t even give it a leg to stand on.

Thought: I have to be perfect

Surely you’re in a relationship because your partner is attracted to you and has feelings for you. However, it’s easy to start feeling jealous when you think in order to keep your man you have to be “perfect like all the other women he secretly wants.”

Truth: No one is perfect

Including you, yet your man still wants you anyway. Pretending to be perfect or striving to do so will do nothing but drive a wedge between you and your partner. Just focus on being the best you you can be.

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