Tips For Dating With Depression

April 14, 2014  |  
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People suffer from depression for all sorts of reasons. From a horrible break up to just a rough patch in life, depression can hit at any time, and for some it’s a never-ending condition they have to cope with every day. If you are dealing with depression, don’t think that dating is out of the question — or that you should hide it from your partner. Here are 14 tips for dating with depression.

Take care of you first

When it comes to depression and dating, the most important factor is you. You need to take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally before you throw yourself into the dating pool. Before you can ever take care of someone else in a relationship, you have to be able to take care of you.

Surround yourself with positivity

Be sure to keep in touch with friends who are going through the dating scene with you. Having a support system during dating is crucial, and it’s even more important if you suffer from depression. Being around positive and upbeat people will take some of the stress and tension out of the dating.

Be mindful

Depression and the challenges that it brings can be random, which is why being mindful of timing is crucial. If you know that this week is already panning out to be a bad one, you may want to consider taking a mini-break from dating. It’s all but impossible to go on a date and enjoy it when you’re having trouble just getting yourself to smile.

Practice acceptance

Acceptance is a big part of living with depression. When you decide to be part of the dating world, it’s even more important that you’re able to accept your depression and take it for what it is. Just because you have a mental health issue doesn’t mean that you’re crazy. Accept who you are and others will follow.

Don’t tell everyone you meet

Suffering from depression, as with any mental health issues, is a pretty personal thing. Just because you’re going on dates with men doesn’t mean that you have to tell them that you suffer from depression. This could lead to a lot of bias and stereotyping from his end, and it can easily make a good date become a bit awkward.

Do tell if things get serious

On the flip side, if you’ve been dating a man for awhile now and things are getting serious, you’ll need to tell him. While depression doesn’t define you, it does play a part in how you act certain times. When things get serious with a man, he deserves to know.

Be prepared for questions

Once you’ve told your partner that you suffer from depression, be ready for questions. You may find that your partner wants to help you or wants to understand depression more, and you’ll need to be open and willing to do so. Explain depression in real terms and don’t sugarcoat it.

Learn from the past

As you become more involved in the dating scene, it’s likely you’ll develop certain dating patterns. It’s important that you’re able to recognize your own strengths, weaknesses, as well as the dating pitfalls that you’re prone to fall into. Not learning from the past and repeating failed patterns from the past may only leave you feeling even worse. Know what you need and what you don’t need when it comes to a partner.

Think towards the future

With depression, it can be hard to see the bright side of things, especially when it comes to your future. However, despite the fact that you suffer from depression, this doesn’t mean that you can’t and won’t go on to find your Mr. Right and live an amazing life with him. Focus on the positive side of things and know you’re worthy of love and a good relationship, just like everyone else.

Consider online dating

Online dating is extremely popular in today’s world, and as someone who suffers from depression, online dating may be the best option for you. During those days or weeks when you’re just not feeling personal interaction with someone, you could easily take time to talk to people online, which gives you a barrier between your emotions and projecting them onto others.

Don’t use depression as a crutch

There are plenty of people out there who try to use depression as a crutch. Just because you’re depressed doesn’t mean that you get a free card when it comes to the dating scene. While you may have some rough days and rough patches, depression doesn’t mean that you’re doomed from the beginning. Accept it for what it is and grow from it instead of letting your condition weigh you down.

Focus your energy outward

Depression makes you painfully aware of your inner suffering, which in turn will focus all of your attention on yourself. This can make it hard to be fully interested in and connected to someone else. When you go into the dating scene, do your best to be focused on your dates and to be fully engaged with that person.

Don’t use relationships to feel better

Relationships give us reassurance that we’re loved, wanted, and that we are doing something right. However, don’t go into the dating scene with the idea that you can use relationships as a way to give yourself assurance. If you’re using dating as a way to boost your self-esteem, you’re going down the wrong trail for sure.

Consider help from a professional

Low self-esteem, irritability, and fatigue can all amplify with dating. A professional can definitely help you stay strong and on top of your depression.

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