How You’re Getting In Your Own Way Of Dating Success

April 28, 2014  |  
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Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. Dating is never easy, but it’s even harder when we’re holding our own selves back. Though most people don’t do it intentionally, we tend to do and think certain things that keep us from success in the dating world. Here are some signs you’re getting in your own way and how you can resolve these issues.

Dwelling on the past

If you’re really looking to find dating success, you’ll need to stop thinking about how things were — whether you’re idolizing your past or dwelling on dating failures.

The fix

Don’t look at the past as a burden or a time in your life that you’ll never experience again. Forgive the past, let it go, and focus on the fact that you have to create new memories.

Lack of self-confidence

A lot of women tend to sell themselves short when it comes to the dating scene, which is unfortunate because that stops you from putting yourself out there which is a must when it comes to making connections.

The fix

The simplest fix here is to simply work on yourself internally. Learn to love yourself and who you are. Don’t think about who you wish you could be, but who you are. Learn to love every bit of you. While working on your self-esteem, also work on ironing out the doubts that you have about yourself.

No self-respect

To put it plain: Others can’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself. If your carry yourself as someone who can be talked to and treated any kind of way, you’ll receive just that.

The fix

Know your worth. All attention is not good attention. If a man is disrespecting you and not giving you the things you want, don’t accept it. Wait for someone who will.

Being afraid to fail

When it comes to the dating scene, you almost have to go into it knowing that at some point, more than likely multiple times, you will experience failure of some sort. However, if you’re afraid to fail and you go into the dating scene with the mindset that you aren’t going to find someone for you, you’ve automatically lessened your chances.

The fix

Know the realities of dating. Not all dates will pan out. You won’t click with every man you meet. This is all part of dating, and you’ll have to accept failure ahead of time before you decide to give dating a shot. By knowing that failure is inevitable, you can be better prepared for it.

Comparing yourself to others

No two people will have the same dating experience. While most of your friends may be in relationships, there’s no reason to compare yourself to them and then get down about the fact that you’re still single. Comparing yourself to others means that you’re judging yourself, and in the end you’ll see yourself as a failure.

The fix

Instead of comparing yourself to others around you, focus on the successes that you have experienced. Capitalize on who you are and what you’ve been able to achieve thus far. Enjoy what you have instead of focusing on what you’re lacking.

Dating frustration

From bad dates to flakes who don’t return your calls, dating is rarely ever smooth and easy sailing. This of course leads to all sorts of frustration, which will inevitably change your mood and outlook, and maybe even stop you from putting yourself out there.

The fix

Accept frustration as it comes along. The only fix to dating frustration is to simply acknowledge it, learn from it, and, most importantly, move on from it. Dwelling on your frustration and allowing it to pile up will only make finding dating success a lot harder than it already is.

Wanting perfection

It’s important to go into the dating scene with wants, needs, and expectations that you’re looking for in a partner. However, you severely limit your chances of finding dating success if you’re out there looking for perfection. No one is perfect and your dating experience won’t be perfect either.

The fix

When it comes to dating, it’s important that you’re realistic. You aren’t going to find a man who is perfect. You aren’t perfect. Dating is all about development and learning about new people. While it’s good to have expectations in a man, it can be counterproductive if you’re simply looking for perfection without any wiggle room.

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