Have you tuned in to Paternity Court lately? It’s heavy on the drama even heavier on the lessons. On the show, Judge Lauren Lake, a wife and mother herself, has a tough job to do. She resides over difficult paternity cases daily and it’s up to her to lay down the law when it comes to how to best put children first. And, she doesn’t take her job lightly. “There are many times in our courtroom that I’ve literally had to fight back tears,” she tells us. “I constantly tell these litigants, the child is the most important thing.” Agreed. Keeping that in mind, we asked Lake to give us her verdicts on some common single mom dating dilemmas we’ve heard our readers bring up.
The Offense: A Man Meets Your Kids Before Things Get Serious
Lake’s Verdict: “Guilty!”
The Justification: “It’s important for children to have structure, normalcy and familiarity. Bringing men in and out of the house does not give them that consistency. You need to know if you like them for the long haul. It’s also an attachment issue: If your child gets attached to this guy because he’s coming over every day and spending the night—we see that on Paternity Court—then your child may get attached and not understand why these men are coming and going. What does this say to our young men and boys? A woman’s home shouldn’t be a revolving door. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to get to your prince, however your child doesn’t have to watch you kiss ’em.”
To read Judge Lauren Lake’s advice on sex and the single mom, visit Essence.