Are You Too Lazy To Get Out of Your Gutted Relationship?

April 27, 2014  |  

 

Now that spring is upon us, I have been forced to take on the task of evaluating my mental inventory. This is the time to not only get rid of all the stuff clogging your closets, but to also figure out your station in life.

Cultivating meaningful relationships can be somewhat of a chore, if you are linking yourself with people that are slowing you down instead of encouraging progress. Friendships can be a rewarding exercise, but what if you are giving a lot more than you receive? Many of us are stuck with friends that literally wear us out with their demands, but refuse to reciprocate when we need their unlimited support. I had a couple of those and I went along with it because it was just easier to turn a blind eye, but then, I would complain to my other friends. This was clearly a sign that I was not happy with my circumstances and I needed to find a way to change it.

I ended up tackling my problem head on and for better or for worse, I was able to finesse my way out of those empty friendships, and it proved to be worthwhile. It gave me the space and time I needed to sustain the people in my life who are invaluable.

Relationships can also be tasking when you are stuck in a rut romantically. I have also been guilty of this and despite the fact that I was well aware that I was “settling,” I wasn’t inspired enough to walk away. You get comfortable and as long as you are not necessarily suffering, you can bare the fact that your partner no longer makes your heart flutter. You forget what it’s like to be excitedly in love and you accept your subpar relationship and get lost in the daily demands of life.

Self-worth is the only way to extract yourself from a situation that has remained stagnant for too long. You have to realize how important your happiness is and take ownership of it. It’s easier to hope that things will get better, and continue to play your role; but is that living or just existing?

I posed this question to a friend of mine, who was experiencing the symptoms associated with “relationship breakdown syndrome” I remember how in love she was in the beginning- that was about two years ago. She is one of those, who earnestly searches for the “love of her life,” and ends up getting swept off her feet too quickly. The same scenario played out with her recent beau, except the steam started running out quicker than she would have liked. She hates being single, and would rather be linked to a guy who is less than ideal. It’s possible that some of us are too lazy to make a desperate situation hopeful again, but it’s also likely that we allow ourselves to make do because we are too disillusioned to face reality.

A failed relationship doesn’t mean we are failures, it just means that we have reached the end of our rope. My friend was reluctant to begin the search again at the age of 36, because of fear of the unknown. But staying in a situation that threatens your level of contentment isn’t a healthier alternative. Life is a series of ups and downs, and nobody is perfect, but the key is to settle down with someone who is perfect for you. And that is something that is within our grasp, we just have to be brave enough to demand it.

 

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