My Boyfriend Is A Mama’s Boy And Smokes Around Me! Should I Leave Him?

March 25, 2014  |  


From Essence 

Dr. Sherry,

I’m a non-smoker who met and began dating a man who smokes. After getting to know him better, I found that smoking was the least of his problems. Over the course of our relationship I discovered he had several family, health, financial and substance abuse problems too. I’ve walked him through overcoming some things during our year together, but others seem like they’re never going to change. He allows his mother to manipulate his life, he’s still smoking even though I’ve suffered through several sore throats from his second hand smoke, and I feel that the more I do for him the less he does for himself. When I try to discuss these issues with him he keeps asking me to be patient because he’s newly clean and sober. At this point I’m completely fed up with his mother, family, friends and I’m feeling as though I’m doing everything for him and he’s doing nothing to take care of himself. We are just one year into this relationship and I feel like I need to cut my losses and leave him to his family and get on with my life. He thinks I’m being impatient and need to give him more time to become the man I want, including a non-smoker. I gave him 6 months to stop smoking and that was a year ago. Am I wrong for wanting to leave for the sake of my health and sanity?


Sick and Tired (of being sick and tired!)

Read Dr. Sherry’s response at 

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