Ask A Very Smart Brotha: We Could Be Great But After 7 Years He Won’t Commit

March 19, 2014  |  

Dear Damon,

I have been dealing with this guy since we were 18, arriving at the same college at the same time. We have been carrying on this situationship for 6 going on 7 years straight. No signs of slowing down or stopping. It doesn’t matter what is going on in our lives, namely being in relationships with others, we always find our way to one another. Whether it’s cooking out, chilling and watching TV, spending the night or just being physical and going about the day. It’s our thing. We’re comfortable enough around each other that certain things come very natural for us. Think Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits.

Even though he has been in his own relationships and I have been in mine, we are each other’s weakness. I know that this is not normal but I am looking for a way out or through. We have discussed being involved in our own relationship, he always resists. I think it may have something to do with what he thinks I did in my past. However, when I ask him to elaborate, he won’t. I feel like there is something that is bothering him that he won’t tell me. The girls that he chooses always wind up being totally wrong or hurt him. I can’t but help to think that I would be the right choice for him simply because we are one in the same.

We have the same thoughts, like the same kinds of music, foods, clothes, we even are from Chicago and grew up not that far from each other as children. I have asked God to take him out of my life, but days, or weeks will go by and he shows back up; either it is by text, social media or phone call. I really don’t understand if it is meant for us to be together in the future or what? I am confused as to why he keeps coming back to me especially now that he is now seriously dating his best friend?  I feel like I am trapped in a bad cycle. I am so in love with him but I don’t know how to help myself out. We would be so perfect and compatible with each other if he would just trust it and open up more. He’s my dream. I just don’t know what to anymore. Can you please offer any insight on this?

Waiting on a Dreamlover

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