Are You Proactive When it Comes to Dating?

March 21, 2014  |  

The other day I was chatting with my friend who lives in Los Angeles, and she was excitedly sharing the dates she had lined up for the coming week. She, like me, had been stuck in a rut for too long, and she finally decided to explore the world of online dating. Within days, her inbox was filled with winks from admirers and a roster of potential suitors. Now, LA is a different animal when it comes to meeting people on the web. The temperament is a lot more casual which fosters a healthy degree of playfulness that I probably won’t encounter in New York City.

There is also the realization that LA is an artist haven, and many of them work erratic hours, as opposed to the typical 9 to 5 grind. This makes it a little more challenging to meet someone in a traditional way. My friend is a film producer, and she is definitely attracting the kind of guys that complement and understand her lifestyle

Two of them were actors, one was a screenwriter, and her present beau is an actor. I was quite surprised that she was able to go out with eligible men armed with concrete careers in the entertainment industry. I can’t imagine replicating that experience in New York City, because most guys with great jobs and impressive backgrounds aren’t relying on Match.com or OKCupid, to get dates. If they are considering online foreplay, they sign up with companies that provide a high level of exclusivity.

My friend however isn’t buying my excuse though. When I complained that I haven’t been out on a nice date in over a year, she challenged me about what I was doing to change things around. I hate being put on the spot, and I always try to wrangle my way out of a dicey situation, but this time I was stumped. As I surveyed the inventory, it was apparent, that I had instinctively accepted my fate without putting up much of a fight.

I have other girlfriends who pour out their frustrations while we are having drinks at our favorite diving holes. They moan about how fed up they are with their single status. They also can’t understand how girls who are not as cute or successful as they are enjoy weekly date nights. But the truth is that aside from random hook ups and friendly set ups, none of us are really being proactive when it comes to finding Mr. Right.

Other areas of my life seem to be impressively thriving. I seem to be a lot more involved and I don’t waste time asserting myself by taking the steps necessary to get to the finish line. But I admittedly have always imagined that the guy of my dreams would bump into me on the 6 train and smile apologetically while noticing that the girl he almost knocked down, is actually quite cute and worth further investigation. That scenario has not played out yet, and while I am still hoping to unexpectedly run into the father of my children on a busy street or at the neighborhood Starbucks, I have to start take matters into my own hands. Dating online has always left a bad taste in my mouth, but perhaps it’s time to revamp my taste buds. I am passionate about food, so signing up for a cooking class might be a nice way to bring in new blood. Basically, indulging in activities that are interactive and feed into your tendencies can leave you open to a world of possibilities and maybe introduce you to your lifetime partner. I intend to make this summer my template for love and romance.

Are you up for the challenge?

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