BFF To BF: Steps For Transitioning From Friends To Lovers
Transitioning from being just friends to being lovers can be exciting, awkward, and confusing all at the same time. There are so many questions to answer and so many situations that just become weird for the both of you. It’ll definitely take time for the transition to settle in and settle down, but it can be done. Here are some tips for transitioning from friends to lovers.
Make sure you both want it
First and foremost, before either of you decide to really go through with this transition, make sure that you’re both ready and willing. If you’re the one pushing the subject and your friend is just going along with it, things are not going to end well. Make sure you’re both on board and make sure you’re on the same page so that the transition from friends to lovers isn’t one-sided or tension-filled.
Be aware of the risks
Transitioning from friends to lovers can go really well or it can go badly.The relationship could easily ruin the friendship if it ends. Also, things in your social circle may get a bit awkward for a little while. Before jumping into the relationship, know the risks that are before you and decide if it’s worth it.
Always be yourself
The fact is that the two of you like each other because of who you are. Don’t go into the relationship thinking that you need to change in order to be more appealing or to make the relationship work. The transition from friends to lovers should never involve personal change on anyone’s part. Be yourself, as he already likes you for you.
Take things slowly
When it comes to transitioning from friends to lovers, it’s best to take things slowly. There’s no need to rush into the relationship. Take your time and get to know each other on an even deeper level. Connect more emotionally. As time passes, the relationship will advance. Take it slow and be patient.
Keep things exciting
During your time as friends, it’s likely that you’ve gone to the movies, spent nights together, gone out to dinner, and had nights out on the town. This means that you two are probably comfortable together and feel as though you already know each other. But, the key to making this work is to keep things exciting for the both of you.
Put in some effort
Being friends with people is pretty effortless; either you click or you don’t. However, when it comes to relationships, be prepared to put some effort into things. Don’t go into the relationship thinking that things can stay the same. Make an effort to communicate, impress him, and do things that you’d do for boyfriends in the past.
Don’t get too comfortable
In the past, since you and this man were friends, it was okay not to shave your legs for weeks and it was okay to meet him in your pajamas to go grab a coffee. However, now that you’re dating, you’ll want to make sure that you’re doing whatever you can to impress him. Don’t stay in the friend-zone. Make sure that the two of you are impressing each other.
Date, not hang out
When you were just friends, it was okay to hang over at his house for a couple of hours watching a movie. However, now that you’re dating, it’s time to move things out of the “hang out” zone. Instead of going to his house, go out to see a movie. Or instead of having dinner at home, go to a romantic restaurant, dress up, and go on a real date. Just hanging out and doing what you did as friends won’t feel like dating.
As friends, it’s likely that you’ve complimented him in the past. Maybe his cologne smells really good or maybe he was dressed up really nicely one day and you told him. Just because you’ve told him in the past and just because you’re dating doesn’t mean that the compliments should end. Tell him anyway and compliment him when you can. He should do the same.
Don’t be afraid of PDA
In the beginning, holding hands in public or kissing each other may be a little awkward for the two of you since it’s entirely new from just being friends. However, PDA is one of the things that will allow you two to really feel like a couple. Of course, don’t force it, but don’t be afraid of PDA either. If you’ve got the emotions, show them!
Don’t be pushy
Being pushy in any relationship is a bad thing, but in this case, the effects may be even worse. Transitioning from friends to lovers will require a lot of patience. Don’t rush the first kiss and don’t rush each other to do things between the sheets. At the same time, don’t be pushy when it comes to emotions either. Let things flow naturally.
Don’t get stuck in a routine
As friends, it’s likely that you two had plans on certain days of the week to hang out together or as a group. But, once you two decide to start dating, you don’t want to get stuck in a routine as this will only become boring. Routines and relationships don’t often go together. While it’s okay to still hang out with friends on Friday nights, don’t let this be your only time together. In your relationship, be spontaneous.
Keep some info to yourself
When you two were just friends, it was okay to talk about anything and everything, even if some of the details were outright gross and overly personal. Now that you’re dating this guy, you probably shouldn’t tell him about that time you didn’t shave for months. Re-adjust and remember who you’re talking to. There are some things he really won’t need to know.
Tell your friends
While you don’t have to tell them right away, it’ll be a relief for the two of you to tell your friends of your new status. Keep things private for awhile, but as you two become closer and more involved, it’s important to tell your friends, or else things could get a bit awkward for everyone. Plus, it’ll be nice to have people cheering for you two!