From Single Black Male
The hating single friend is the worst kind of hater, mostly because your shade is so well developed that you don’t even notice that you are throwing it. You assumed that you were happy when your best friend entered into a relationship. After all, that’s your homie… your right hand… your ace boon coon. If their happy, you’re happy, right? Sure, if you weren’t single, but since you are, you just might be the hating single friend. Here are the 4 Tell-Tale Signs:
1) Anticipating the demise of the relationship: “If y’all break up, is it okay for me to still hang with the crew?”
Your bestie’s relationship has some major benefits for you. You have been introduced to a new group of people that you genuinely enjoy hanging out with and have started to regard as friends or at least close acquaintances. You might be saddened by the thought of potentially ending your friendship with these folks to spare your bestie from discomfort in the “unfortunate” event of a break-up. Your concerns are valid, so you may have thought it was an appropriate question. You thought wrong. Knowing the answer to this question might be beneficial, but speaking of the termination of a positive thing is generally regarded as rude.
2) Resorting to teasing every chance you get: “Girl, you’re sprung” or “Boy, she got you whipped.”
You mad? You’re single so you may be unaware/have forgotten that when people are in a relationship they should be emotionally invested in their mate which is sometimes expressed by engaging in behaviors/actions that are appeasing to ones mate. If your bestie and his/her significant other wore matching t-shirts everyday for 5 months, it is what it is. If their happy, your third party opinion does not matter. If your homeboy single-handedly carved his and his girl’s initials in every single tree in your city he would definitely be sprung but his girl would most likely be appreciative. His girl’s opinion > your opinion. Relax with the teasing; it’s a way for your hating self to subtly say that your bestie’s romantic behaviors are atypical of a normal relationship. Let the two of them define what they want their relationship to look like.
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