Signs You’re Trying Too Hard To Find The One

March 11, 2014  |  
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Dating is all about being able to eventually find the one, Mr. Right, or whatever else you want to call him. However, for some women, it seems like the harder you try to find the one, the harder dating becomes, and the less success you have. Here are some signs that you’re trying too hard to find the one and how you can tone things down a bit and put yourself at ease. Time is on your side, so enjoy the journey.

Dating has become stressful

You know you have the dating scene all wrong when dating has become completely unenjoyable and only creates stress in your life. Dating should be exciting and fun, not daunting and full of tension.

You’re always anxious

Being anxious to go on a date is one thing, but if you find that you’re full of anxiety because you’re overly-ready to find Mr. Right, then taking a step back may be the best move right now. You’re going to have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince and you can’t hyperventilate every time you come across another frog.

After the anxiety comes exhaustion

Once all of the anxiety dies down and your heart and mind are done racing, instead of finding yourself relaxed and relieved, you’re just flat out exhausted. Dating can be exhausting if you’ve already got a jam-packed schedule, but dating alone shouldn’t be the main cause of your mental exhaustion. If it is, it’s time to reconsider your method of dating and your overall expectations.

You feel extremely pressured

When you go out with a guy and he starts telling you the kinds of things he likes in a woman, you suddenly feel an overwhelming sense of pressure to be all of those things — even if they are in direct conflict with who you are at your core.

You’re clingy

Liking a man after a few dates is no problem, and expecting things to eventually progress isn’t out of the ordinary. However, if you try to spend every waking minute with a guy and remain in constant contact so no one else can snatch him up you’re doing too much.

You’ve lowered your standards

It’s not odd to go into the dating scene with super high expectations and then lower them accordingly. But if you’re lowering your standards just so you can finally say you’re not single you’re going about this dating thing all wrong. If you have certain things that you’re looking for in a man, why start to disregard them just so you can hopefully be paired with a man who doesn’t meets most of your wants and needs?

You initiate everything

Taking charge and initiating a date with a man is fine. It shows you’re comfortable and confident in yourself. However, initiation can become an issue when you’re the only one doing it. If you give a man your number and ask him to call you, but he never does and instead you call him and that pattern continues, you’re just delaying the inevitable.

Take a break

Once you’ve got your mindset on finding the one as soon as possible, you may find it hard to revert back to normal mindset. In this case, it’s best to take a break from dating and reset the dating part of your brain. You don’t want to continue on in the dating scene by trying too hard as you’ll only end up doing more harm to you and your dating success.

Re-evaluate things

Before you continue on down the same path, you’ll want to take some time to re-evaluate things. Take a step back and decide what you really want and need out of a relationship and a man. Also, take some time to re-evaluate yourself. Why are you in such a hurry to find Mr. Right? Why do you so desperately want to find love? Take some time, evaluate things, and then get back into the dating scene, slowly.

Stop trying so hard

Okay, so this may not be as simple as it seems, but really, the only way to stop trying so hard to find love is to just stop. As cliche as the phrase may be, when it comes to dating, things will happen when you aren’t looking or planning for them to happen. Meaning, the more effort and energy you put into finding the one, the less likely you are to actually find him. Instead of hunting for Mr. Right, just take things as they come and know that the best things come when you least expect them to.

Be patient

Patience is key when it comes to dating. You can’t go into the dating scene expecting to find your perfect man after two or three dates, unless you’re one of those super lucky women who just happens to click with one of the first men you meet. Since we all aren’t that lucky, you’ll want to practice patience, for your own sake. Otherwise you’ll only add more stress and tension.

Keep in touch with your inner-self

Throughout the rollercoaster that is dating and relationships, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself. When you’re way too focused on finding the one, it’s even easier to lose touch of yourself. When it comes to dating and dating successfully, you’ll want to ensure that you always keep yourself in mind while also keeping yourself as the top priority. Otherwise dating just won’t work and you’ll be too wrapped up in a man to be happy internally.

Set realistic expectations

A lot of women enter the dating scene and automatically expect to find a man, fall in love, get married, and move in together. If you don’t know so by now, dating and relationships are not as they are in the movies or in books. Dating takes a lot of time and effort and the pieces to the puzzle just don’t fall into place. Don’t start dating and expect to find Mr. Right without putting in some time and effort.

Never settle

After months, maybe even years of searching for Mr. Right, the dating game can really take a toll on you. After unsuccessfully trying to find the one, you may be more inclined to just lower your expectations and settle for less than you want or deserve. The fact is that when you settle, you don’t end up with the man you’re really looking for. Instead, you take what you can get, which may lead to temporary happiness but nothing that will last. Settling is never the answer.

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