You don’t think you’re intimidating, and yet, guys don’t seem to approach you do they?. It might not be that they find you unattractive: you could be putting out the vibe that you want to be left alone. Here are a few reasons men don’t approach you.
You don’t order a drink
If you’re just drinking a glass of water, or even worse nothing at all, while all of your friends are drinking cocktails, guys assume that you plan on making a quick exit. They definitely assume that you are not in the mood to loosen up and talk to strangers. They might also suspect you’re the type of woman who expects men to buy her drinks all night and that’s not enticing.
You check your phone a lot
If your friend leaves you alone at the table for a moment, your face is glued to your phone. That definitely sends the, “I’m busy! Go away!” signal.
If you’re out somewhere where all the other women are in dresses and you came in your track pants and hoodie, guys will assume you did not want to be there tonight but some friend dragged you there. So you’re already in a negative headspace about the night.
You’re with 12 girls
It’s hard for a guy to believe you’re looking to meet men if you create a wall of 12 friends around you. Travel in small, approachable crews—4 people maximum.
You’re at a table, and nobody else is
It’s clearly a standing vibe: everybody is standing, or dancing, or walking around, and yet you’re the only one in the place plunked down at a table. Looks like you don’t want to be a part of the socializing at all.
You’ve ordered three plates of food
It’s a little tough for a man to approach you when he can tell your mouth will be full for the next hour and a half. And if you’re the only person eating in a bar where people are just drinking, then it looks like you’re just there to eat and get out.
You’re constantly doing something
You’re either carrying drinks to your friends or initiating a card game or setting up group photos or singing karaoke. If you won’t stand still for two seconds, guys can’t approach you.
You’ll only dance alone
Men try to dance with you, in just a friendly manner, and you push them away. You’re determined to have your own giant bubble of space on the dance floor and any guy who sees that won’t feel comfortable approaching you off the dance floor, either.
You break eye contact instantly
If a guy catches your eye, you immediately look away. You may have just been shy, but to him that says, “I want nothing to do with you.”
You’re hovered over your cocktail
You’re sitting at the bar alone, which at first seems approachable, but you’ve got your shoulders hunched and your neck hanging over your drink. That looks like you’re there to drink some depression away, and no guy wants to approach a depressed woman.
You’re flirting with a male friend
You’ve brought a male friend around to make another man jealous. Newsflash: those other man don’t know that that isn’t your boyfriend! If there is another man in the picture, nobody is approaching you.
You’re yelling at guys who pass by
You like to make your friends laugh, so as guys pass by, you yell at them, teasing their clothes or just generally being rowdy. That doesn’t make you fun: that makes you scary.
You’re wearing flip flops
Flip flops are like a giant flashing sign that reads, “Get me out of here!” You don’t respect the venue enough to even wear decent shoes. You clearly want to be home in your pajamas.
You have your laptop case
If you have any sort of “activity” with you like a laptop or a book, men believe you just want to do your work or read your book in the environment of a bar, but be left alone.