MadameNoire Featured Video
1 of 10

Another week, another relationship question and answer session with Damon Young. There were some interesting questions this week that really illustrate the difficulties–or the perceived difficulties–women have with dating and relationships. Take a look at the selected questions below and let us know if you agree with Damon’s advice.

Zee: Yes… He’s interested and so am I, but there still hasn’t been a first date.We talk nearly everyday. Am I missing something?

DY: He doesn’t sound that interested.

Kanticia: I have been single for almost 4 years and I meet men but never call them and when they call me I don’t answer… What’s wrong with me

DY: Perhaps you’re just not meeting men you’re interested enough in. Which, all things considered, isn’t a bad problem to have.

Kanticia: I don’t know enough about any to be interested in… I get their name, number and age, for 4 years I’m more interested in my books on my kindle then picking up the phone to see if we can have a nice conversation. No urge for sex or anything???? Damon Young something is wrong with me, I’m telling you.

DY: No. I don’t think anything is wrong with you. If you’re happy with the way your life is now, why force a change just so you can fit a societal expectation of who you’re “supposed to” be?

Johanna: Can you please tell ladies that most men will give you value based on what you do or say?

DY: There’s no such thing as “giving someone value.” Everyone already has it. Perhaps certain people don’t recognize it, but everyone has it.

Johanna: I disagree with you Damon. If gold was not in itself valued, it will not be recognized as valuable by every one.- just a metaphor. Men can make a distinction between women who value themselves and women who don’t; and their actions toward these women depend on which kind of women they encounter. If you accept less than you deserve, you will be treated as less than your worth is.

DY: I see what you’re saying, but I disagree. Everyone should value themselves. But, a woman valuing herself won’t stop her from getting mistreated. Bad relationships happen to well-adjusted people, too.

Kimberly: I’m almost 40, single mom of an almost three year old, abstinent for three years, I talk to guys from Facebook, on the phone, they ask me for advice, Im an author, I write to inspire women to be independent, empowering, something I did my whole life, also write songs, they love the songs,but My personality is rough, I challenge men, and win, football lover,who wrote the Saints a great song, I find men want to be something they not,trying to impress me, but they not real, and I offended them, but they still call. So do men find a woman like me a turn on? I don’t post pictures of myself, just my book cover and one picture, never talk about sex, and they talk to me for hours, why? Im wondering cause I know thirsty women who show everything, have sex, who would chase them, I don’t, and won’t, they respect me.

DY: I’m sure some men do. And some don’t. That’s one of the great parts about life. Different people like different things.

Seana: I’ve been dating a guy for three months. He’s a gentleman, all around good guy, and he treats me like a lady. My issues with him are his height and his age. He’s 5’9″ (thats what he says but I don’t believe him after being around him) and I’m 5’6″. I’m 31 and he’s 43.

I like feeling small and protected in a physical sense by a man I’m dating and the age gap makes me feel like we’re not completely on the same page of life i.e.: I still want to go out and have ratchet times and he’s definitely more settled and calm lol! Most of all I don’t feel excited about him and am wondering if i were to be in a relationship with him would that be settling or would that be me accepting that he’s a man thats into me and I should be with him even if he’s not what I want?

DY: Sounds like you’re just not that into him. A great guy, but not the guy for you.

Janea: What is your definition of cheating? I know some guys act like if their behavior and interaction isn’t physical, its not cheating. I personally do not agree.

DY: The definition of cheating should be determined within the relationship. For some people it could just be physical intimacy. For others it could be all non-platonic contact (flirting, etc).

Rhonda: Is it safe to say when a woman becomes a certain age, is the market for meeting decent men slim? I am not having any luck meeting anyone. I have tried dating sites, no luck. Guys will speak and look but don’t approach. What am I doing wrong?

DY: It’s true that, as we age, the market slims. But it’s also true that, as we age, we become more comfortable in our own skin and more aware of what we want. Which also slims the market. But this isn’t a bad thing. Maybe you’re not having much luck as far as numbers go, but you’re also better equipped to make a good decision when you do find someone.

Pittsburgh native Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) is the co-founder of the ridiculously popular Their first book “Your Degrees Won’t Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide To Dating, Mating and Fighting Crime” is available at 

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN