Don’t Short Change Me On The Freak!

February 5, 2011  |  

“It’s alright to be a little sweet but be a mama with the kids and you know what in the sheets.” – Ms. Betty Wright

Many women have the first part of this lyric down pact, but some fall short on the second half of this jewel Sister Betty Wright was teaching back in the mid 80’s. I’m not sure if it’s because their mothers taught them that fellatio causes cancer or they’re so busy trying to be wife material that they hold back their inner freak. Soon, sex at 27 becomes your average Friday night run-through at the Lomaxes’ household ©The Devil’s Advocate. I don’t know about your man, but on a scale of a 1-10, a brother like me wants you at… 11.

Let’s be clear, I’m talking about serious relationships/marriage. Every homie-lover-friend doesn’t deserve an 11, but your significant other does. I personally hate when my female friends who are super freaks, turn it off because they don’t want their man to think ‘she’s a ho’ or start wondering where she learned her tricks. Do you wonder where he learned his tongue game? Then he shouldn’t be too concerned with where you learned yours. Are you a ho? No. Problem solved! Now bust a move; don’t have your significant other wanting for more when you’re ready and able to give it to him, exactly the way he needs it. Hell, we like it when y’all teach us a trick or two though we’ll never admit it. If your S/O were so special, why’d you try anal/swallowing/outdoor sex & road head with Quincey and not your man? Shouldn’t your true love deserve all the pleasure you’ve got to give and not your college boyfriend who turned you out? Things that make you go hmmm.

For my sheltered ladies, whose mothers’ tall tales helped birth unfaithful husbands around the world (iKid, iKid); mommy lied! Sucking d**k does not cause cancer, and a real woman satisfies her man, so pardon your beauty sleep and your hair — let’s get it on. You are not better suited to be his wife because you keep him dis-satisfied. What you will be heading towards is divorce court, because you found him cheating with a real freak (insert the clean up woman.) I can understand how this may be a problem if you’ve been living this “conservative life” for so long that you really don’t know where to start. I suggest reading some erotic literature. Adult Videos is cool but I’m afraid Jazmine Cashmere (not familiar? Google her) is a little too advanced for you at this stage of your development. Those erotic stories make being freaky sound classy and elegant; just what you need to break you out of your run of the mill, missionary fascination and hop on the freak train to cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and back shots that jiggle.

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