The Time I Prayed For A Couple To Split: Why You Shouldn’t Wait In The Wings

January 31, 2014  |  

Am I the only one who squealed for joy upon the news that Serge Ibaka and Keri Hilson might have possibly called it quits?

Ibaka is one fine man. He is so fine that if he was illegal, I would help him get his green card.

But I get it: I will never be in a position to date Ibaka – but I won’t feel bad for drooling over him now that he is single.

S*xy now single Ibaka has me thinking about breakup-wishers, particularly those women and men who wait patiently in the wings for a relationship to end so that they can have part of that couple all to themselves. Folks don’t like to talk about the grey areas of love, but indeed, many people have found themselves the victim of such wishful thinking as well as the perpetrator. I know I have.

Matter of fact, there have been a couple of other times in my life when I had prayed to Cupid’s nemesis to hurl a lightening bolt of dissolution into a so-called happy home. You can call it loneliness or even jealousy. Hell, desperation works well too. But also keep in mind that the guys in question were always accessible. Well, almost accessible, if not for that girlfriend. I admit it, it was a rotten thing to want and play into, but I swore at the time that the chemistry was real. And although he and I had been nothing but friendly with each other, he too confessed a mutual attraction that could be more–if not for his relationship, he added.

Well, being young, silly and misguided in my self-centeredness (nothing wrong with putting yourself first, however, the goal is to always make sure that whatever you are doing is in your best interest), I thought for sure I could aid him out of his paradox and into following his heart, which allegedly would lead him to me. I followed the basic strategy for busting up a relationship, a strategy which coincidentally has been laid out nicely in this wiki link (because there are more people waiting in the wings than you think). First, there was the task of placing the seeds of doubt, which wasn’t really hard because my male friend/crush had no problem spilling the beans about the troubles in their relationship.

Then I learned to be his confidant, including becoming the shoulder to lean on during times when they were fighting and always with an encouraging word that he could do better. The final step in my master plan was to exploit their weakness, going places with him that she wouldn’t go and activities (non-sexual) she wouldn’t do. Everything worked like a charm and within a short span of time, Cupid’s nemesis had hurled that thunderbolt and forwarded his heart to me-except, his heart was pure.

In short, the dude was like Keyser Soze from The Usual Suspects. He wasn’t the torn lover, caught between loyalty to one heart and his passion for another, as he made himself out to be. He was more like a co-dependent monophobic, a man who was using me and my stupidity to find himself out of a relationship he was too cowardly to end on his own. A few short months after that, my friend/crush and inevitable boyfriend was kicking the same sad pitiful puppy routine to some other unsuspecting yet disastrously eager young girl.

The moral to this story from my earlier years is that Ibaka is s*xy. Oh yeah, it’s also, that crime (even one of the heart) never pays off, ladies. And when the crime is too easy, it is likely entrapment. So while there is nothing wrong with crushing on a taken man (or woman or both), learn from my previous experience that it’s best to wait it out or go off and find someone who is more available. I suggest the latter. I mean, even if they do breakup naturally (and without intervention from you), who wants to be the rebound chick?

Trending on MadameNoire

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN