Things A Man Will Only Tell You If He’s Really Comfortable With You
Before you become freaked out or offended by something your guy opens up to you about, maybe you should be honored: there are some things a man will only tell a woman he is extremely comfortable with.
Times he could have worked harder
Every man has some missed opportunities in his lifetime—times he could have proven himself at work, or times when, if he’d just worked a little harder, he could have become CEO or partner in a company. But instead, because he was young and didn’t understand what mattered in life yet, he was lazy, missed the opportunity of a lifetime, and has ever since regretted it. If he tells you that, he trusts you never to judge him.
That he cried that day
Most men, if they can get away with crying and having nobody see it, they’re certainly not going to go announcing it to their partner! So, if your guy could have cried one day without you ever knowing it, but chose to tell you it happened, it’s because he wanted you to know just how deeply something affected him—even if it made him look “weak.”
That he needs a half hour in the bathroom
Hey, what happens in the bathroom isn’t pretty sometimes! And if your guy gets to the point where he no longer has to drive home or to the nearest Starbucks to handle it but rather just says to you “I need a magazine and thirty minutes to myself,” he’s probably considering marrying you. Just sayin’.
That you’re his best friend
Some men fear telling their partner that she’s their best friend because they don’t want it to sound like they don’t have enough friends, or they don’t want to put too much power in the woman’s hands. So if a man tells you this, it’s because he knows you would never abuse how much he leans on you or needs you, and that it will just make you happy to hear it!
That nobody likes your idea
It takes a very strong couple to constructively criticize one another. So if, for example, you’ve been planning an elaborate vacation with a group of friends and everybody is secretly complaining about the itinerary you have planned, the hotel, the flight times etc. and your guy mans up and tells you, he’s comfortable in knowing you won’t throw a temper tantrum when he’s honest with you.
His family’s medical history
Men feel a responsibility to portray their family as a strong unit to the outside world. Only when a man feels that his secrets are safe with you, and that you will have tact, will he let you know that there is a history of heart disease or mental illness in his family.
Men tend to be much shyer about talking about going to therapy. In fact, far less men are comfortable than women even going in the first place! Only when a man feels that you understand him through and through and won’t be shaken by him admitting that he needs help, will he open up to you about his therapy sessions.
His weaknesses in his career
A man needs you to feel that he protects you, and part of that is never letting on if he is struggling in his career, or that he might not have what it takes to make it to a certain level. Only when a man knows you love him for the right reasons will he be honest with you about his weaknesses in his field of work.
Times he was immoral
We’ve all done things we’re ashamed of—we’ve treated people in a way we wish we wouldn’t have, or done something clearly immoral. Only when a guy knows you have confidence in who he is today, and will be able to put his past behind him, as he has, will he tell you about times he was less than a standup citizen.
His major mess-ups
Everybody at some time is a major klutz, or makes a mistake that was so easy to avoid, and that had major and terrible consequences. Only when your guy knows you’ll still find him sexy when you visualize him humiliating himself, will he tell you about those stories that still make his cheeks turn red.
How his parents affect him
Everybody—men and women—like to pretend that their parents don’t get under their skin anymore, and that their parents’ relationship doesn’t absolutely affect how they handle love. Only once your guy feels you’re comfortable with his vulnerable side will he open up to you about how his parents have shaped him, especially in his romantic relationships.
His weirdest sexual fantasy
Your man has to know that you know that he is not a pervert, or a freak, or a misogynist, or a psycho before he reveals his wildest sexual fantasies to you.
The weirdest p*rn he watches
Refer back to last point. But also, a man has to know you’re totally secure in your body and in your sexual skills before showing you the porn he watches, or else you might wonder if what he sees on the screen is what he wants in real life.
Physical traits he’s insecure about
Nobody wants their partner focusing on their receding hairline, or stretch marks or small hands. A man has to feel 100% secure in the fact that you find him completely sexy, before he lets you know that he doesn’t find himself completely sexy all of the time.
He needs a night to himself
Before you get angry at your guy for confessing to you he needs a night away from you, keep in mind that the only reason he even told you was because he believed you were understanding and secure enough in yourself to hear it without getting angry!
Every guy wants to be able to treat his girlfriend, and he wants to be able to do it without her feeling guilty about the money he’s spending. If a man opens up to you about his financial limitations that means he believes you love him for who he is and will enjoy his company on a cruise or at Taco Bell.
His BIG dreams
Everybody has a big dream. But admitting our big dreams to ourselves is scary enough, let alone to somebody else. If your guy dreams of being a Broadway star, a celebrity chef, a millionaire, he’ll only let you know that when he feels you totally believe in him. And when you also know he has a good head on his shoulders, and is willing to put in the work that dream requires.
He’s jealous of another man
Once a man admits he is jealous of another man, he opens himself up to comparison. So only when he feels your love for him is unshakable will he admit that another man makes him feel like, well, less of a man.
One of your friends annoys him
It takes so much comfort and trust between a couple for either person to admit to the other, “Your friend drives me nuts!” If your partner tells you this about your friend then that means that he feels you respect his opinion enough to not immediately reject it, but that you’re secure enough in your friendships to not be bothered by someone criticizing them.