How Social Media Is Ruining Your Relationship

March 4, 2014  |  
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When you’re in a relationship, social media is one of those things that you love, but at the same time you can easily grow to hate. While the latest apps and social networking sites may make your life easier, more convenient, and much more interesting, they may each be taking a toll on your relationship. Here are some signs social media is ruining your relationship and what you can do about it.

Resurrected flings and ex-boyfriends

The whole (original) purpose of Facebook was to reconnect with old friends and people that you have lost contact with throughout the years. And while it’s nice to see your friend’s from high school through pictures, it’s not nice to see a friend request come in from an old fling you had years ago.

What you can do

Be sure that you and your man are able to come to an agreement about ex-partners and flings when it comes to social media. If you’re not comfortable with him adding his ex-girlfriend as a friend on FB, then you shouldn’t be adding your ex either. Make some ground rules and follow them so that each of you can continue to trust and respect each other.

You have less time for your partner

Though you may not want to admit it, how many times have you been on your phone browsing Facebook or looking at pictures on Instagram while your man was right next to you? Or how often has your man come home after work and you’re too busy on your laptop blogging away that he has to wait to get a little bit of your attention? Since social media is so captivating and easily accessible, it can chip away at the undivided attention and time you could’ve given your man.

What you can do

There’s nothing wrong with social media, but when it comes time to spending a few hours of the day with your guy, promise each other that social media can, and will, wait. When you’re with your man, don’t pull out your phone to check Twitter every 10 minutes and when you’re at home, keep the laptop off and away. Let your time together be undivided.

Missed moments

You and your man are having a nice romantic dinner at a restaurant in the city. You’re dressed up in your finest and so is he. Just as dinner is served, you decide that now is the best time to take a selfie of you two so you can post it to Instagram. While selfies with your significant other are cute, they can also ruin the moment in a flash (no pun intended). Taking that selfie completely breaks the romance of a nice dinner.

What you can do

This goes back to the first suggestion. When you’re with your man, do not let social media rear its (often ugly) head. If you must take that selfie to show off just how amazing you and your man look together when you’re all dressed up, feel free to do so, but do it before you leave the house. The dinner table at a restaurant is not the place to snap pics.

It’s the only way you communicate

Everyone knows that social media is popular because it’s a convenient and quick way to communicate with people and many couples use networks such as Facebook and Twitter to talk with each other throughout the day. However, when social media sites become your main communication method, the relationship can suffer greatly. Talking through text on a screen and emoticons just isn’t enough.

What you can do

It’s acceptable, and sometimes welcome, to send your man a message on Facebook while he’s at work just saying hello and that you miss him. But, it’s completely unacceptable to only speak to your man through social media networks. If you need to talk out a problem, Facebook chat is not the location to do so. Make sure that the two of you put heavy emphasis and importance on in-person interaction.

You’ve used it to get revenge

Before social media, arguing between couples was hard enough, but nowadays, social media can be used as a way to further the argument and to get revenge on a partner who has upset you in some way. Surely you’ve seen those posts, pictures, and status changes that have to deal with getting revenge or getting even. Maybe you’ve even changed your relationship status in the past from “In a relationship” to “Single” because you and your man had a huge blow up with each other.

What you can do

Social media should never be used as a platform to argue and bicker with your partner. The first step is to keep all arguments and issues off of Facebook. When there is something wrong between you two, the last place you should be running is to Facebook or to Twitter. Besides, do you really want everyone to know each time you and your man are arguing? If you’re going to argue, do it in person.

Your expectations have become completely unrealistic

This is for all the Pinterest fans out there. How many of you have a board called True Romance or True Love, which is full of these cute and romantic pictures of other couples that just make your heart melt? While the pictures are nice to look at, the fact is that no two relationships are the same, and just because that couple does one thing and posts it on Pinterest doesn’t mean that you should expect the same out of your relationship. Don’t let Pinterest fantasies get in the way of what you really have.

What you can do

If you insist on having a Pinterest board that is all about love, romance, and dating, find ways to draw it into your real-life relationship. For example, create a board called date night that offers you all sorts of fun ideas and things to do when you and your man go out on your next date together. Avoid pinning those over-the-top sayings about love and relationships and instead focus on the emotions that you already express and receive.

You can’t un-know things

If you ever wanted to do a little bit of background investigating on your significant other, you probably just used his/her Facebook timeline, which spells out almost everything that your partner has done before dating you. While it’s important to know about your man’s past, learning about it from Facebook is never wise. Things can be taken out of context and you may see things stir up some jealousy and other negative feelings.

What you can do

When it comes to social media and learning about your partner, the best thing you can do is learn about him/her outside of Facebook and Twitter. If something doesn’t match up in real life to what you’re seeing online, you have a big decision to make. Either ask about it or just move on since a lie is occurring somewhere along the line. Don’t rely on social media to learn the ins and outs of your man. Instead, talk in person, face-to-face.

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