A 20-year-old girl old might see a 40-year-old woman standing at a bar, sipping a martini and waiting for what’s clearly a blind date and think, “How sad.” But the truth is, the life of that 20-year-old is far more full of tears, drama and turmoil than the life of that 40-year-old. Dating in your 40s might actually be the most fun you have dating your whole life. Here’s why.
There’s a whole pool of divorcees
Don’t believe those who tell you everyone is taken by 40. Everyone has been taken by 40, and is now back on the market. The couples who got married in their early twenties are now breaking up, and the men leaving those marriages cannot wait to meet a woman who is experienced, intelligent and has taken plenty of time to understand men and relationships.
You can freeze your eggs
There’s really no reason to rush to the ticking of the biological clock. In fact, in your 40’s, you’re more ready to have a child both financially and emotionally than you were in your 20’s. And today, nobody bats an eye at a mother in her 40’s—even a single mother. Even a single mother with an adopted child!
You can make more first moves
Men (or should we say boys) in their 20’s and 30’s were put off by women making the first move. Their egos told them they had to do the chasing or else a woman wasn’t worth it. But men in their 40’s and up can’t only handle but respect a woman who makes the first move. They are SO tired of playing games. So, you get to waste less time sitting and and waiting: you can go out and find out right now if a guy is right for you.
This is when the good marriages happen
Marriages that happen later in life have a better chance of lasting for several reasons. There is, first off, the simple matter of time: you now only have about 40 years to spend together, whereas if you married in your 20’s you had 60 years to spend together and that puts you at a much higher risk for getting sick of one another! Then there’s also the fact that you’re both settled in your careers and know who you are, so your relationship is far less fragile than one of scared, confused, hustling and grinding 20-year-old’s.
This is when most men want to settle down
Most men don’t even really, really want to settle down until they’re in their 40’s! That’s just how men and women work; most men mature far more slower than women and don’t really value a monogamous, intimate relationship until after their 30’s.
There are more dating sites than ever
And they’re filled with men in their 40’s! Why? Because men in their 40’s, just like you, don’t feel like hanging out at bars all night. Those are for the 20-year-old’s. Just open your phone or laptop and there are thousands of men at your fingertips. And you know (well, almost) that they’re single and want a relationship. No weeding through wishy-washy, non-committal guys at bars.
You know exactly what you want
You’ve figured out what traits and lifestyles just don’t work for you. You’ve tried them out and realized that even though some types of guys seemed charming or exciting, they just didn’t fit into your life. Now, you can spot those guys a mile away and skip them.
Younger guys love older women today
There are plenty of reasons why but know this: women in their 40s are trendy right now! Yeah that’s right: an entire demographic is trendy. And that’s you. Listen in on the conversation of a few 30-something men and you’ll hear them complain of how immature and frivolous women their own age or younger are. That leaves you as the prize.
Dating will become more efficient
You, and men your age, have figured out nothing is gained by leading someone on, or by continuing to date someone you’re less than thrilled about. And you know that you’re confident enough to take rejection, and so are others your age. So, guys will tell you sooner what they need and don’t need in a partner, so you can figure out if that works for you or not without months or years of dating!
You can afford to treat yourself
Instead of going on a date with someone you only sort of like to enjoy a nice restaurant, you can afford to treat yourself! Admit it: in your 20s, you dated some guys for months (or longer) because you enjoyed the nice places they took you to. You don’t have to do that now and you can focus on only dating men you really like.
You know what you’re doing in bed
And that big pool of recently divorced men wants to know what you know! They’ve been stuck in a marriage where the sexual repertoire had frozen. They don’t even know what they don’t know! But they want to find out…
You’ve realized time is precious
Now that your life is about half way over, you’ve come to terms with the fact that you won’t live forever. It’s something we say we know in our 20’s but we don’t really factor it into our decisions. If you had, think of all the people you wouldn’t have wasted time on! Now, you’re acutely aware that time is precious and you’re determined to spend it with the right people.
You’re a pro at keeping your own identity
You don’t have to worry about losing yourself in a relationship—losing your friendships, your career drive, your ability to carve out personal time—because you’re a pro at doing you. So you can date with confidence that a man won’t take over your identity.
You’ve figured out what matters
You’ve probably crossed out nearly every trait on that “list” of things you needed in a man in your 20’s, and replaced it with traits that actually lend themselves to long-lasting relationships.
