14 Ways To Recognize Your Own Cries For Help

January 29, 2014  |  
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A lot of times in life, it’s very easy to see where everyone else falls short.  It’s easy to see when others are toxic and need to be out of our lives, but what happens when we are the ones that are toxic?  What happens when you’re your own worst enemy?

I feel as though in life we can hear everyone else’s cries for help, while ignoring our own.  As the year is just starting, and people are focusing on creating a “new me,” don’t forget to include improving your mental wellbeing.  Here are a few things that might be indicative of doing better/needing improvement.


You engage in procrastination instead of productivity

There are times when you know that you should be working, and you have something very important to finish.  However, whenever you sit down to get to work, and you find yourself slightly panicking and instead of pushing through, you distract yourself with either your favorite shows or websites.

No one is trying to force you to work 24 hours a day, but when you are cognizant that you are putting very important tasks off, in lieu of slacking off, that might point to self-destructive tendencies that can derail your future opportunities.


You Constantly Compare Yourself to Others

Competition can sometimes be healthy, but constantly comparing yourself to other people can be a very slippery slope.  By doing so, your thinking can easily run the gambit of “I’m not good enough,” when you are.

Don’t allow your inner critic to downgrade your abilities.


Your Inner Monologue is Abusive

We always talk about looking out for abusive mates, but sometimes we can be the most verbally and emotionally abusive to ourselves.  If you find that you normally call yourself horrible names, or use hurtful adjectives to describe yourself, try to fix that.  If you wouldn’t want someone talking to your friend in that manner, then don’t allow yourself to talk to you that way either.  Become your own best friend, and treat yourself accordingly.


Your first reaction to negative emotions is to become abusive

No one is happy all the time.  There will, undoubtedly, be times that you want to punch a tree.  However, anytime that any negative emotion makes you want to inflict pain on yourself or others, that’s definitely a sign that you need a professional to intervene.

Life is all about the good, the bad, and the in between.  One shouldn’t be so “turnt up” (I hate that phrase, by the way) that if anyone is killing your vibe then you feel as if they deserve a punch to the face.


You Stifle Who You Truly Are to Please Others

Life can be mundane, but it’s the characters that you come across that makes it colorful.

Now, I’m not saying to run around out of control, but you’re too amazing to limit only showing one side.  For the people who don’t like your wacky interests, or bizarre tastes in food, and they ridicule you for it, count it as a blessing.  Those are people who don’t deserve to be in your life.  You were made perfectly imperfect, and trying to force yourself to be perfect for other people is like saying that you’re not good enough on your own, and you are.


You Don’t Take Care of Yourself

When you’re very busy taking care of others, sometimes we will put our own needs and desires on the back burner.  But, if you find that even doing simple tasks like bathing, brushing your teeth, and combing your hair is too much, then please, immediately seek help.  Find someone to talk to.  This is a sign of extreme depression, and an expert will be able to help.


Immediately thinking the worse

As you get older, you can be burdened by your own knowledge.  When you were younger, you were carefree, but as you get older you know what the possibilities of things going wrong.  Acknowledging those feelings are not bad, but being consumed can be detrimental.  If you tend to talk yourself out of experiencing new adventures in life, because of “what could happen,” then you are missing out on the great things that could also come as well.


Believing Others Propaganda about Yourself

People will never truly know the real you, only what you allow.  Sometimes when people don’t have the whole picture, they might fill in the holes with their negative theories on why you do what you do.  Some are bold enough to tell you, and others are even more bold to constantly bombard you with their misconceptions.

Having a strong sense of self can be extremely hard, but you have to.  You’re not perfect, and you will need to hear some criticism to improve every now and again.  But if you’re not delusional about yourself, and someone’s condemnation is meant to cut you down and you’re beginning to believe it, then that’s a red flag for yourself.


Immediately thinking that people think the worse of you

What I might say can seem a little harsh, but it helps, especially if you have a tendency to be too in your own head.  A lot of times, when people seem slightly unpleasant, we might not have been the cause.  In all reality, most people aren’t really thinking about us when they’re interacting with us.  We could hardly be a blip on their radar.  It doesn’t excuse them from being rude, but if you think that you did something to deserve the rudeness when you immediately interact with people, then that’s not a good sign.


Being the “Eternal Victim”

Everyone else can’t always be at fault.  At some point in time you’re going to have to accept responsibility for things that you might have had a hand in.  If you realize you have a tendency of turning the problem on someone else rather than apologizing, then we’ve got a problem (and by “we,” I mean society).


Take Criticism too Personally

It’s very uncomfortable for someone to point out when you’ve done something wrong.  But there has to be an understanding of the difference between criticism and condemning.  If someone is pointing out something to you that you need to improve upon, it doesn’t mean that they are insulting you as a person.  Learn the difference.


Not Allowing Yourself to be Happy

I am convinced that there are some people who are just comfortable in dysfunction.  These are the same people who will talk themselves out of being happy.  It’s okay to enjoy things, and if you’re too dedicated on not allowing yourself to embrace good moments, that (to me) is a cry for assistance.


Spend a lot of time Criticizing Others

Everyone might have a “Daria” moment, where you can see the faults of others, and people can seem like idiots to you.  However, if you’re dedicating a large part of your time to finding fault, that usually points to the fact that you might not be as happy as you appear.


Trying to Talk People into Poor Decisions

Misery truly does love company, and if you find that you are trying to talk your “friends” into doing bad things without good reasons (is there ever a good reason to steer someone into a bad direction?), then spend some time in introspection.  Find out why you want to tear someone else down.

Now, all of these things aren’t meant to make someone feel bad about themselves, but while you’re spending time in gyms, and cutting people out of your life, make sure that you’re the best that you can be.  Introspection is hard, but you deserve to not let anything stand in your way, including yourself.

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