14 First Date Rules To Follow

March 6, 2014  |  
1 of 15

No matter if this is your first first date or your 50th, there are some definite rules that you’ll want to follow in order to have a successful and enjoyable experience. While there are all sorts of dos and don’ts when it comes to dating, there are some solid first date tips that you’ll want to keep in the back of your mind. Here are 14 first date rules that you’ll always want to follow, no matter who you’re on a date with.

Be yourself

First dates are all about portraying who you really are as well as learning about the man you’re on a date with. During the first date you, of course, want to impress the man you’re spending time with, but don’t let yourself pretend to be someone you aren’t. It’s important to show your true colors and be who you really are so that your date can learn about the true you. Otherwise you’re setting things up for failure from the very beginning.

Practice proper phone etiquette

When you’re on a date, one of the worst things you can do is pull out your phone and start texting or Facebooking. During a date, turn your phone off, or at least put it on silent. You don’t need to live Tweet how the date is going nor do you need to post photos to Instagram every other minute. Keep your phone nearby but don’t let it become a distraction. Cell phones and dates just don’t mix. Focus on the date and give it your undivided attention.

Keep tabs on the alcohol

There’s nothing that says you can’t drink during the first date, but be sure that you are well aware of your limits ahead of time. If you know that after two drinks you can get a little sloppy and silly, limit yourself to one and call it a night. Alcohol will definitely ease the tension and stress but too much alcohol can completely ruin a date. Get to know each other while you’re sober first; drinking can wait.

Listen just as much as you talk

Dates are all about getting to know one another, and as much as you may want to talk about yourself, it’s just as important, if not more important, to be a good listener during the first date. Listening shows your date that you’re interested in what he has to say and that you’re able to have an equal conversation. Don’t hesitate to talk about the wonders that are you, but also give your date a chance to talk as well.

Don’t share too much

During the first date you’re probably excited to share all sorts of details about yourself, and while it’s good to express your likes, dislikes, and hobbies, you don’t want to go overboard with the information. Sharing too much on the first date can lead to boring follow-up dates. If things go well, you’ll surely have second and third dates, which is when you’ll want to delve deeper into who you are, your past, and so on. Staying a bit mysterious after the first date keeps him interested!

Dress wisely

First dates are all about impressing, but there is a fine line between dressing to impress and dressing for attention. Before going on a first date, be sure that you have an outfit picked out that not only makes you look great and feel confident, but also is appropriate for the date. If you’ll be walking around the park, don’t plan on wearing stilettos. At the same time don’t show too much skin, otherwise you may give off the wrong impression. Sexy doesn’t have to be slutty!

Make eye contact, often

Eye contact during the first date is crucial. Not only does eye contact show that you’re interested in your date, it also shows that you are confident and self-assured as a woman. Showing confidence during the first date can really make a lasting impression with a man. Don’t be afraid to make light physical contact either. A touch on the back or arm can make your date feel confident as well.


In combination with eye contact, smiling is also important during the first date. A simple smile can easily break the ice during a first date and it can show your date that you’re interested, happy, and excited to be spending time with him. Smiling also makes you much more approachable and easy to talk to. When the moment comes when you share smiles, the first date jitters go away.

Be polite

During the first date, politeness can go a long way. Make sure that you’re on time, give compliments, and make sure that you’re completely focused on your date. Even if the two of you are not a perfect match, being polite and respectful is the least you can do. Being needy and rude on the first date doesn’t leave much room for a possible future relationship.

Stay in the moment

Remember, this is a first date, and for now, the two of you are nothing more than acquaintances who are getting to know each other. Don’t go into a first date with all sorts of plans and expectations. While you will hope that this man will be a great one, don’t start planning your wedding and future with this man. Live in the moment and let things flow naturally or else you risk scaring this guy off.

Be assertive

One of the most frustrating things that you can do to your date is be wishy-washy. Don’t be afraid to speak up on the first date if something is wrong. If your date asks you a question that requires a decision, don’t be indecisive and answer “I don’t know” or “It’s up to you.” Assertiveness and decisiveness shows that you aren’t a pushover and it shows that you’re willing to stand your ground and speak your mind when you need to.

Go in with an open mind

First dates are unpredictable and no matter how well you two clicked over the phone or online, there is no way to know how a first date will go. To allow for the most success, always go into a first date with an open mind. Don’t set high standards that you know won’t be met. An open mind will help you to avoid failed expectations. Keeping an open mind also allows you to better connect with your date.

Avoid harping on the past

When you’re talking about yourself during a first date, you may feel inclined to talk about your past relationships, and while your last relationship may have really changed you, the fact is that your date doesn’t really want to hear about your ex. At the same time, your date probably doesn’t want to hear about your date last week either. This is bad news for both of you, so avoid talking about the past as much as possible.


As hard as it may be, in order for you and your date to fully experience and enjoy the first date, it’s crucial that you relax, especially as time goes on. Don’t go into the date with a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Don’t think that you need to act a certain way or look a certain way. The key to a successful date is to relax and avoid the pressure and stress that often comes with a first date.

Trending on MadameNoire

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN