14 Times You Should Trust Your Intuition More

January 14, 2014  |  
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So often in dating, we’re going along, enjoying a seemingly-great first date or even full-fledged fling when we experience an, “Oh…shoot” moment—a moment when the other person does or says something that in our gut we know says a lot about him, and it’s not good—but we just brush it off because things were going so well!!! But usually, if a small comment or action elicits a big drop in your stomach, it’s for good reason. Here are 14 times you should trust your intuition in dating.

 

A man seems jealous

It could just be a small comment like, “Your coworker sure seems comfortable with you,” but men who don’t have jealousy issues don’t make the comment. They may think it, but if they’re secure enough in themselves and healthy enough to trust another person, they keep those thoughts to themselves because they understand that all those comments do is put you on edge, when you did nothing wrong.

 

A man seems like he’ll try to change you

You order the chicken and your date interrupts, “No. She’ll have the duck. It’s better.” You tell yourself he just wants what’s best for you but often the guys who say they want what’s best for you are the one’s who believe you don’t know what’s best for yourself. And they’re the ones looking for a woman who doesn’t stand her ground, so they can mold her.

A man is a bad listener

Some guys even admit, “Sorry—I’m a terrible listener.” You tell yourself, “Well at least he’s aware of it so he’ll probably work on it” but in reality, when a man proclaims he is anything, that’s his way of saying, “And I don’t plan on changing it.”

You sense anger issues

Your date makes a sarcastic comment about the waiter once she leaves the table, or speaks in a tone that could be interpreted as condescending. You write it off because his comment about the waiter is right—she is incompetent—but so what if his comment is right? Just because something is right doesn’t mean it needs to be said.

 

You’re in your head during sex

You couldn’t point to any physical flaws in sex with a guy, but you just know you two feel out of sync. You’re very aware of every single movement and sound—you’re in your head instead of in the moment. Your body knows when you shouldn’t be with somebody.

You think he’s just looking for a wifey…right now

He showers you with gifts and date invites within a matter of weeks. Within a month, he wants you to meet his parents. Within three months, he’s talking about an apartment he saw that he thinks you two would like. It’s all so flattering but deep down you’re thinking, “He doesn’t even know me…” And the truth is, it doesn’t matter! He doesn’t want to know you! He wants a wife to fulfill x, y and z roles in his life. If it weren’t you, it’d be the next woman he bumped into that he’d be treating like this.

 

A man who doesn’t care about dogs

When a dog is around and a man doesn’t have the normal reaction—you know, the baby voice, the petting, the playfulness—something’s not right. Here’s a rule of thumb: don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like dogs.

 

A man who doesn’t care about babies

The dog rule pretty much applies to babies, too. We are hardwired to become balls of mush around babies with their big eyes, their toothless smiles and their cooing sounds. If a man has zero reaction to a baby, he has some childhood issues that still need to be worked out in therapy.

 

You sense chauvinism

We women were born with a special tool that picks up a chauvinist the moment he walks in the room. It’s the one hunch you can always trust.

His friends give you a weird vibe

They seem irresponsible, or sleazy, or unethical. Even if your date hasn’t displayed any of these characteristics, he chose those friends for a reason.

You think he is running from or avoiding something

He seems so into you but there’s a hint of despair, like he’s running from the pain of a recent heartbreak, or controlled by his fear of being alone. Unless a man is with you because he just wants to be with you, and for no other reason, don’t waste your time. Once that fear or issue goes away, so will his infatuation with you.

 

He is selfish in bed

How a man is in bed says so much about how he is in life. If a man has no interest in cuddling or even touching you after sex, if he avoids eye contact at all times, if he doesn’t like to kiss during sex, if he has you on your knees or beneath him in some way the entire time—run.

 

He’s not looking for a relationship

He only calls once or twice a week, he invites you out almost a little too close to the actual time of the date every time, and he takes days to respond to a text. He always has a perfectly valid excuse for these behaviors and insists he wants to date you, but a man who really wants a relationship doesn’t need those excuses in the first place. Calling you and making plans with you are priorities.

 

He has a bad relationship with his family

He tells you all about his family and, you’ll even admit it, they sound awful. But guess what? Everybody’s family sounds awful! Mature, emotionally stable, happy people come to terms with their differences with their families and learn how to get along. If a guy is regularly fighting with and bad-mouthing his family, it won’t be long before his deep-rooted anger towards them gets turned towards you, or even the children you might have together!

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